now what

One day of June left.
I feel like I say this every month now, but it feels more incredulous every month;
how can it possibly be July already?!?

2010 is half done.
This realization leaves me very frustrated, discouraged and bewildered.
This whole year is slipping away...
While I feel like our life is on pause.

We've been living in limbo for 8 months.
We've been living apart for 4.

We have yet to find a buyer for our house.

School starts down south in 6 weeks.

This is cutting things pretty close isn't it?!?

I have no idea what comes next.

Please pray for us. Something needs to happen.
Pray that someone wants our house. And that they want it quickly.
Pray that we realize the right area of the new city for our family and can quickly choose the best house for us down there.
Pray for wisdom, encouragement, peace and patience for us.
Please.

non-stop

Wow the last 48 hours have gone by way too fast. Wasn't I just kissing my husband -and our weekend- hello like five minutes ago?! How is he (and the weekend!) gone again already??!!!

Friday evening was spent at Heather's manning a garage sale. The kids had a lemonade stand and I pawned off some of our bigger toys and things we've outgrown or just didn't want to move with us! It went pretty well :)
Saturday we were up early at it again and then took off before noon to head out to Columbia for a visit with Mike and Kasey and Evan. We watched the US soccer game, the kids splashed outside in the sprinkler and then we all went out for some yummy pizza. We tucked the kids in bed early and spent some good time visiting before crashing for the night. Every one was up bright and early and right after breakfast we headed back home to give the house a once over and do a bit of yardwork for an open house this afternoon. We spent some time at the pool while we had to be out of the house, grabbed some Sonic for an early dinner and just saw Ryan off.
And just like that, weekend done.

I'd like another weekend, pleaseandthankyou.
Nice to at least look forward to next week with a long holiday weekend.

the silent treatment

We've had a rough week around here kid-wise.
Well, we're playing a new game today.
Basically it's called My Kids Choose Not to Listen to Me? Well Then I'm Not Listening to Them.

The silent treatment was on.
Ignoring requests, doing the opposite of what they wanted me to do... pretty much pretended I was them. Seriously.
Except that I kind of took it just a leeeettle bit further and kind of sort of pretty much pretended they weren't even here. Nope, can't hear you!

Here's how it went...
At first they were kind of speechless, taken aback and not sure how to respond to no response from mom. I started it after they'd both been sent to their rooms (for antics at the snack table that resulted in raisins flying all the way into the family room) and I ignored their calls from upstairs "can we come down now???" I made no acknowledgment and eventually they cautiously made their way down testing the waters. Repeating themselves again, timidly, apologetically. They really didn't know what to think about me flat out ignoring them. I did finally say quietly that I had decided since they didn't want to listen to me today, I was returning the favor and was done listening to them. They tried to talk, ask me questions, but I was back to no eye contact and shrugging them off. Like I said, they were pretty much speechless and not sure how to respond to this.
Then they moved into 'whatever' mode where they kind of took on the attitude of, well if mom's not doing anything about it, we'll be the boss of ourselves. They got super crazy, doing things just to egg each other on and try and get my goat. Uh-uh. Not gonna break.
Amusingly, that got old pretty quick and they were back to not being quite sure what to do with themselves. And kind of sullen... like their feelings were kind of hurt that I wasn't really interacting with them AT ALL. That they weren't getting any attention from me. That I wasn't helping them with things or getting them things or really basically acknowledging them whatsoever. (I think they even got a little panicky that maybe I was never going to talk to them again!)

And, for SJ at least, I could tell it dawned on her that maybe, just maybe this might be kind of how mom feels when she says something to me thirty seven times and I still don't follow through or obey or I "forget" or just plain ignore.

This lasted all of about an hour. It seemed A LOT longer, but it was about an hour.
And then we talked about it.

And we'll see if it did any good....

thoughts this thursday

Things that make me go hmmmm....

30,000 (wait, did you really catch that? THIRTY THOUSAND) children die of preventable diseases every day around the world.
Yet, our country is more concerned about spending $146 billion dollars on The Endangered Animals Act in 2009 as opposed to $46 billion in Foreign Aid over the next 10 years..
When we value animals that much more than people, something is very wrong.

*****
80% of third-world diseases are preventable with clean drinking water, a "luxury" countless residents of this world don’t have. Imagine. Clean water, cool clear water to drink, is. a. luxury.
While America pays celebrities and professional athletes millions and millions of dollars to entertain us or to play a game and to be able to afford to drive around in their "luxury" suv's and multi-million dollar homes.

*****
Day 67 of oil gushing into our gulf waters. 67.
I can't wrap my head around the fact that we, as a country, had the ability to get a man not only to the moon, but to be able to walk on it, in the sixties... and yet in 2010 we somehow haven't been able to solve this devastating and ongoing catastrophy; that no one, no team, no group has come up with a solution to this incredible emergency in 67 days. And counting.
The things we've accomplished in space, the unimaginable technology that people have come up with in everything from engineering, to medical miracles, and even for sheer convenience... yet no one knows how to effectively stop this oil gushing under the sea? Crazy.

tomorrow

I'm looking forward to a nothing-but-fun lazy summer day tomorrow.

Yesterday we had Caleb who's a little out of sorts at the moment, mostly when it comes to napping, since he's been at other houses while we were gone and with his grandma being off for the summer and keeping him part time. Plus my own kids were insane with their behavior yesterday including -but not limited to- someone peeing in the corner of the basement. Allegedly because an older someone told him too. And then tattled on him. It was a very big straw on an already loaded camel's back. Which meant most of the afternoon was spent separated in their bedrooms, no fun, no tv and definitely no pool.

I always hate using the no-swimming as a punishment because I feel like it's more of a punishment for me than anyone... because then I have to listen to their obnoxious craziness cooped up in the house, or their fighting or their whining about wanting to swim all afternoon. Torture for me. Our swimming pools are great babysitters.
Plus I like to get a little sun too!

Today was go go go as the kids had dentist appointments early (have I mentioned how much I LOVE our dentist... for me, for the kids, they are absolutely THE BEST. I briefly considered a whole blog post on our dentist office two weeks ago when I went and reconsidered today after the kids' appointment. I'll spare you, but if you ever need a great dentist I'll point you in the right direction. A dentist's office that is this enjoyable is a rare find. I look forward to going to the dentist. It's one of the things that almost makes me cry to leave here. True story.)
ANYWAY.
Dentist this morning, followed by a trip to the toy store to pick up a birthday present, followed by getting Savannah directly to the birthday party, during which Sawyer and I had lunch with friends, followed by the grocery store after picking Savannah back up, followed by returning home and waiting for the Swinigan girls to join us where we had an afternoon/evening of play, pizza, popcorn and a movie.

So Tomorrow.
I'm looking forward to nothing but pool time. Sitting in the sun, watching the kids swim and splash with no whining or complaining or fighting or running in the house.
Just summertime relaxing. A nothing-but-fun lazy summer day. :)

Anyone care to join us?

home bound

So we did a little house hunting while down south last week.
A little being a lot.

House hunting, for us, in Nashville, is crazy. We are so all over the place.
Our realtor down there keeps wanting us to narrow down an area, a subdivision, a neighborhood, so we can find the house for us. I'm of the mindset that I don't care where it is, we can't afford to be picky ($-wise as well as time-wise) in zeroing in and loving a particular neighborhood and hoping for a house there. I just want to find the best house for us in the best neighborhood for us for the best price, wherever it is.

The problem with Nashville, from a relocation viewpoint, is that every area has so many aspects that are completely different. In different ways.
There are so many areas to choose from; west of Nashville we're looking at the Bellevue and Riverwalk areas, southwest of Nashville we're looking at Franklin and Spring Hill, and south Nashville with parts of Brentwood all the way east to the borders of Antioch. Every area has it's pros and cons, and houses and neighborhoods that work for us in different ways. The problem is, the goods and not-so-goods that come with each individual house and area that we like do not translate straight across the board to other houses and areas... it's like comparing apples and oranges. There's no way to weigh out the options evenly. And it's hard to know where the right balance is for us.

Don't know that that makes sense to anyone but me, but I don't know how else to explain it. Basically, the priorities of a decent area, a great neighborhood, good schools, a decent commute and a house we like and have room to stretch in, don't all add up to a nice tidy package. Or at least not one that we can even come close to affording. We can get a little bit of this and a little bit of that and a hint of this but so far away from that and that's how it goes. And every area is a totally different equation.
We have to pick and choose and pray and guess and hope for the best.

We have (finally, after this last trip) about 4 or so houses that we like okay and are definite possibilities. Problem is, with the above mentioned unbalancing act, I feel like we're playing russian roulette with picking a house. Honestly, every day Ryan and I can say to each other, "which house are you leaning towards right now?" and every day it's a different answer.

...................

All of which is moot until we can get rid of this here house we're sitting on.
Seriously. Why does no one want this house? It kills us to have to leave it, this neighborhood and this community... this is a fabulous house and we have been grateful to have been lucky enough to have landed in it in the first place.
Almost every single person who knows us or who has ever been in our house has voiced their puzzlement over the fact that we've had absolutely no offers in what's going on 4 months on the market. And I don't think they're [all] just being nice. They make the comment more than once. And a few even, who aren't at the moment in a position where they can buy a house, have mentioned more than once that they wish they could buy it themselves, saying they'd jump on the chance if they could.

I just keep telling myself THE right family just hasn't come along yet.
but I'm still wondering why and where the heck they are....

nashville #3

We spent a long week in Nashville this past week, our third trip down since Ryan's been working down there for the last four months. It was a long, hot week with record temps and lots of spotty thunderstorms. We were cooped up in a teeny two bedroom un-kid-friendly apartment; trying not to spend much money on indoor entertainment and like I said it was either too hot to be outside or thundering and downpouring, so cooped up we were. But it was so nice to be together as a normal family where daddy actually comes home after work each day! We were a normal family for 10 whole days; sharing an apartment with Scott -afore mentioned cohort- all week, and our family of four sharing one bedroom, but a normalish family nonetheless.

Their little apartment complex does have a swimming pool so, dodging lightning and downpours, we managed a fair amount of time in the pool.
AND the kids introduced themselves to The Deep End.
It's a smallish pool, going very quickly from 3 feet to 9 feet deep. 3 feet though, apparently, measures quite differently from St Louis to Nashville as at home here, Sawyer can easily walk around the 3 feet area of our pool for a good five feet out from the steps on the whole shallow end. Down there, he wasn't even close to being able to touch anywhere off the steps. So he got a workout; swimming, bobbing and treading water most all the time rather than so much of the playing he's used to doing at our pool. It was really good for them though.
At one point on the first evening in the pool, I casually mentioned to Savannah that she should go try jumping in the deep end, never in a million years thinking she'd actually do it. But she threw me a cheery, "okay!" without even skipping a beat, climbed on out of the pool, walked over to the 9 foot mark and jumped on in a swam back to the wall. Wow!
Then on her own incentive she decided she wanted to try swimming all the way across down there. And again, without skipping a beat or breaking a sweat, she went from wall to wall. Wow!
And then Sawyer followed suite.
And then they couldn't get enough of The Deep End. Jumping in, swimming around, racing each other across, swimming the length of the pool just cuz they can and trying, trying trying to dive down and reach the bottom.
They were so proud of themselves... hanging out in The Deep End!
I was proud too. Impressed and proud. I don't think I was hanging out in The Deep End when I was four or seven!

Folks, we have legitimate swimmers on our hands!

evansville

We made a trip down to Nashville last week and on the way down we detoured to stop and visit with friends in Indiana. They're waiting for the arrival of #4 any day now and a visit from us two years ago prompted labor and delivery for #3, so we thought we'd try again. No such luck so far, but it was great to catch up with Dave and Amie and the boys anyway. The kids had a great time together, Sawyer and B got along fabulously, and amusingly, Savannah and J (who are seven and three!) were best buds playing house and elaborate scenarios with their stuffed animals.

Random pics:
[photography by SJ]
yes, there are a lot, but she really took 99% of these and I love them all!





























































































































































































































































and the obligatory picture [attempt] on the stairs...





























































It was kind of a quick visit for our taste, but really good to spend time with such good friends.
Thanks guys and we'll see you again to meet the new little one (girl?!?) so very soon!

daddy-o

I read something along these lines somewhere once... can't remember where, but I was struck by the truth in it:

Sometimes, when I’m beyond frustrated with him as a husband (and with me as a wife), I am reconciled by knowing him as a father.
Which is probably why we had kids.

There is nothing like watching a good dad with kids that adore him.















I am lucky that my kids got one of the good ones.

He's the hero of our house.
Superhero.
So a fitting Father's Day present around here this year...















We packed up some goodies to take with him as he leaves today for his "fortress of solitude" to continue fighting the good fight.














The kids also drew up a couple of portraits of Dad as a superhero. I forgot to snap a picture of those, but they were pretty amusing. :)

To celebrate our resident Superhero (and to duck out of the 100° heat) we all went to go see Toy Story 3 together and then met up with the Swinigans for ice cream.















We followed that all up with a late afternoon swim and some steak on the grill.
It was a pretty happy Father's Day.

summertime

Pool time this morning, a five hour drive home for more pool time this evening, and then nothing but pool time all weekend!
This is what summer is for!

thursday

VBS all morning, lunch with friends, 90° sunshine, three hours at the pool w/ clear cool water and a nice breeze, two waterlogged wrinkled kiddos, now a snuggled up for a movie in the air conditioning...

Thank you Thursday for treating us so well!

charted

So I made up these little "charts" at the start of last summer and meant to -but never did- blog about it because we had a lot of fun with it.
I was trying to head off any "I'm bored" complaints, helping the kids be able to keep themselves occupied, busy and creative (and even find chores to do) on their own . They were excited about it... I think it's nice that it wasn't really a chart of to-do's, per say, as much as just a brainstorming list for them to refer to. It worked wonderfully!

We made them up together, talking about the different categories of things we need to be doing each day; things to be kind, to be helping, to be active, to be creative and to be learning. We sat down together and made a big list of examples of each of those things for them to refer to... to do specifically or to just give them a train of thought to come up with new ideas each day as well. Savannah's (who was six at the time) we just typed up, while for Sawyer's (who was three at the time) I snagged little clip art pics of things to jog his memory since he couldn't read:


(if you click on the picture I think you can read it all)









We did add stickers... not for every day or every thing they did but when I caught them doing things extra well or something out of the norm or of their own initiative, I added stars saying something to the effect of, "Sawyer I loved how you helped clean up that whole game by yourself without even being reminded! Do you want to add a star to your list??" and "I like to look at all these stars and know you're doing all these great things so often!" I didn't want it to turn into a I made my bed, can I have a sticker? kind of thing but rather being randomly acknowledged, appreciated and sometimes rewarded without the expectation or bribing aspect of it.
But of course eventually if we've had an especially stickery week or the papers get filled quickly, we'll do something special or go out for donuts or ice cream or something. :)

So far this summer (two weeks in) it's still going strong! I love how it reminds the kids to be in the habit of being kind, creative, active, learning and helpful whenever they can!!




















I also had ideals of incorporating a specific chore list this summer... some school time a couple of mornings a week and a handful of chores to be done every morning before swimming or an outing or whatever.
If you're a blog reader you've probably seen the popsicle sticks in a jar chore check-off system floating around blogland the last few years. We may make those up because I really like that idea, but I'm not sure if now's the time to introduce regular "chores". The kids have been good with keeping their rooms tidy and beds made and actually help out a lot when we have to super-clean for a house showing, but I'm hesitant to try to set up too many routine expectations as our summer is so up in the air this year... I think it might turn into just a source of frustration at this point. We'll be gone weeks here and days there and who knows when we'll start packing things up to move. So we may just stick with our psuedo be-helping "chart" we have going on (Sawyer rocks that category out on a daily basis anyway! really- he's awesome!!) and then once we move and start to get settled in a new house and new routine we'll throw specific daily chores in there.

What are you doing to keep your kids busy this summer?

gratitude

I spent a lot of yesterday feeling frustrated with God.
Feeling quite woe-is-me and on the short side of the fairness balance.

I think we were supposed to take this job in Nashville and I know we had a peace about the decision being in step with God's will for our family. And ultimately I still have that peace.
That is, if you can have peace and still be frustrated, disheartened and tempted to be resentful.
So maybe not.
Regardless, I do feel we were led to make the right decision.
But I'm feeling baffled as to why the rest of this can't fall into place.
Let's be honest; can't fall into place like and when I think it should.

When all of this happened the first time, after moving to Michigan; when we had to make the decision to move again and try to discern the Lord's change of direction for our family, we did it all fairly easily. The decision was easy, the timing was easy, everything fell into place quickly, (mostly) painlessly and perfectly. And I knew it. I acknowledged how blessed we were to have gotten the job, to have landed in the right house, to have met up with old friends and made so many great new ones so quickly and easily. Too easily. I said it often; God is good.

This time around it hasn't all been so neat and tidy. The decision was harder, the route more confusing. And now all of this limbo. And separation. For months. With still no end in sight. Can this really be what God wants right now?
I knew from the beginning it was different. I told a friend months ago that I had a feeling it's wasn't going to be easy this time... that I think God wants to stretch our faith a little more this time. We're going to have to trust more, lean more and follow blindly. And come out better on the other side.

Honestly, I feel like it's a test.
The thing is, I feel at times like I'm just not making the grade and that's why we haven't "passed" yet.
Like until I "get" whatever it is I'm supposed to get... until I learn the lesson... until I fully "insert whatever it might be here"... we're stuck here. Like whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing, I'm not doing enough.

I can't help but wonder, why am I still here?
Have I still not given up complete control? Am I still trying to lean too much on my own understanding?? Can that really ever be fully put away???

But.
I know I've trusted and honored and leaned more than I ever have before. I know I've stopped "trying" in my own power and tried relying on His. I know I don't need to "do enough".
And I also know that God is still good.
All the time.

Even when I'm not in control. Make that especially when I'm not in control.
I think that's what I have the hardest time with.
I was okay to wait for school to be out, as it turned out that was The Plan. I was especially okay to wait til after there was a 500 year flood and thankful that we didn't already have our name on a house that was destroyed by flood waters. I can easily look back at certain things and say "okay, I see why it was not yet then"... but then still I demand to know; what's the hold up now? What's the reasoning for Not June Either?? What are we waiting for?!??

And don't even let me get started on the whole standstill on any adoption/foster care front. That is what's killing me the most... I can't even talk about it.

I'm impatient and I like to be in the know and not blindfolded in the passenger seat. Eager to be along for the ride, but feeling like we've been parked for suspiciously way too long.

In other words, I'm human.

But I'm trying.

Wow, this started out meaning to be a grate-full post... reflecting on past "okay God, anytime now" impatient situations and how they turned out to be, wouldn't ya know it, perfectly orchestrated by someone who knew exactly what they were doing. Better than I.
Now you're lucky I've rambled on all these tangents and you're off the hook for more at the moment. Truthfully, I babbled so long that now I'm actually drawing a blank on the few perfect examples I had in mind to share in the first place. Apparently I'm still exhausted and my short term memory fails big time when I'm tired.

Note to self: write things down before you get started writing!

I'll leave you instead with the words from this song I've been praying all day:

Blessed be your name, when the sun's shining down on me,
when the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be your name

And Blessed be your name, on the road marked with suffering,
though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name, in the land that is plentiful,
where your streams of abundance flow,
Blessed be your name

And Blessed be your name, when I'm found in the desert place,
though I walk through the wilderness,
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

today

I have happier, cheerier, look at these great days we're having posts in my drafts folder, waiting to be finished up and posted from the last almost week. I simply haven't had time to finish them up, add pictures and what have you amidst the past weekend and few days.

And now I'm interrupting the happy, cheery, great days we've been having to butt in here and heave a great big frustrated sigh.

Today was one of those days.
One of the days that I think to myself a million times, I can't do this anymore.
A million times; I'm so tired of this.
A million times; This is just so unfair.
A million times again; I just can't. do. this. any. more.

And spent the majority of the morning in pitiful, feeling sorry for us, whining at God, disappointed in myself, frustrated tears.

I'm going to bed shortly after the kids tonight simply because my eyes are so tired from crying all day.

I'm just beat.
Literally feeling very defeated.

And the part that took me so by surprise today and what is so exhausting to me is that it wasn't even necessarily the actual physical stress of the day... it wasn't so much that Caleb decided to scream for almost two hours straight this morning or that I was also babysitting Daphne who decided to follow Caleb's lead and be a little extra clingy today or that in the midst of all of that I get a call to show the house -of course the first call in a week and a half, when I have two non-napping babies here and a tornado of a house- just an hour ahead of time. I had to turn it down. And then was feeling guilty and stupid about that. And then I hear back that okay, they'll come later after all, so I still have to get the house in order and be ready to leave at lunchtime. And then take the kids out for lunch but have McDonalds be so crowded that there isn't even anywhere to sit and Caleb is still fussing and crabbing because oh yeah, no nap!

It wasn't even all that.
Today was really no different than any other given day in the past four months.

I was just suddenly, overwhelmingly, feeling so done.
I crazily wanted to just throw a little tantrum and say, No. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm done with all of it.
I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of parenting by myself all week. I'm sick of always being the one who has to make sure the house is put together and ready for a showing, always of course while wrangling kids and trying to get them and all their crap out the door. I'm sick of thinking about this stupid house and wondering how much money we're going to have to say goodbye to in order to get on with this stupid show. I'm sick of missing my husband. I'm sick of only talking to him on the phone for five days at a time when I am so not a phone person. I'm sick of looking for a new house and being disappointed in everything we see. Everything we can afford at least. I'm sick of thinking about all of it.
And most of all I'm sick of feeling like an idiot feeling all of these things because hey, there are a lot worse lots in life.

I feel like I've said this all before.

All I kept thinking all afternoon was how at the end of my rope I felt today.
The closest feeling to that I remember was losing it the night before Savannah was born. I was so done, so miserable, there was no sign of anything happening anytime soon, and I had myself a little huge breakdown.
I felt the same exact way today.

God must have heard the desperation in my voice seven years ago because we met our daughter the very next day.

I'd love to say that again about today.

visited

Hoping to add the Carolinas this summer...


visited 22 states (44%)
(+ Canada, B.C.)

How many states have you visited?
Create your own visited map of The United States

thinking ball

The kids made up a new favorite game.
In between every activity or game they play, they now do "Thinking Ball".
They get this one certain ball and sit across the room from each other on the floor. They then roll it back and forth to each other and the rules are (and they actually did sit down and make up rules the other day);

1. no talking unless you have the ball
2. every time you get the ball you give an idea of something to do
3. you then roll the ball to the other player
4. play continues until one player yells "let's do it!" on his or her turn following the most appealing suggestion

example of most recent game played out in front of me just now:

"Sawyer, let's play Thinking Ball!"
each get situated
"play puppy", roll...
"work on art books", roll...
"go fish", roll...
"marbles", roll...
"Zingo",, roll...
"walkie talkies", roll...
"walkie talkies in the fort", roll...
"let's do it!!"
and they both immediately get up and head down to the blanket fort in the basement.

They've so far done this no less than four times today.

tube time

If last weekend's Memorial Day holiday didn't do it, summer has now officially unofficially arrived. School's out, summer's here.

One of my goals (besides moving!) is to limit our tv time, big time.
I don't think my kids are big tv consumers to begin with, knowing how much the tv is on in lots of other households... but sadly, Sawyer's gotten pretty in-the-habit lately. He just got so annoying bored when Savannah was at school all day every day. He's still not a fan of anything to do with drawing, coloring, painting, writing, workbook type stuff and it's a fight to get him to do it. He has to be doing something active, big active, like bike riding or playing ball or swinging and climbing. Or he will want to play a board game or do a puzzle... with someone. And he's persistent. So more often than I should, I end up suggesting a little down time with the tv for him.
Here's our usual rundown...
We always have it on in the morning, while I'm we're reading blogs waking up and eating breakfast. We do always manage to turn it off after half an hour, to get ready for the day... but it always came back on after SJ left for school. Sawyer had 30 minutes to kill before he had to leave for school or whatever, so he watched Dinosaur Train every day. Then it'd usually be on during lunchtime and then again mid-afternoon, waiting for SJ to get home on the bus. After that it'd be off for the rest of the day. Basically it got to the point where Sawyer watched most days: Curious George, Dinosaur Train, Martha Speaks, Cyberchase and Word Girl (any of these might be substituted by Phineas and Ferb at any given time). Gah, when you look at it like that, it is a lot of tv!! It sure seems more acceptable when it's just 30 minutes here and there... it's not like the is on all day as blaring usual background noise. But it adds up fast I guess.
Not to mention throwing in the occasional Phineas and Ferb marathon when we're feeling extra couch potatoey.

Anyway. All that to say, conveniently timed so that Sawyer has a more suitable playmate around now that school's done, we're putting the kabosh on the tv for the summer.
Day one, so far so good and with no complaining -or even requesting- whatsoever... tv has been off all morning.
Well, the kids went down to the basement to play in the blanket fort we made yesterday and I later found them playing Buzz Jungle Party instead, so I guess it hasn't been completely off. But they did turn it off themselves after just one game, so really that's fine by me.

You just might find me the kids going thru Phineas and Ferb withdrawls later next week...

the other anni

Yesterday was Ryan and my wedding anniversary. Eight years. I can't believe it's been eight whole years, but at the same time I can't remember what life was before that. Eight years ago I got to take part in the best day. I LOVED my wedding day. With it's craziness and it's joy and it's celebration. The power and excitement of affirming and sharing our love with family and friends made that day unforgettable. And so many cherished memories of random details throughout the day... all of it makes up the day of the formal beginning of our forever.

But we celebrate today too.
We met 364 days before our wedding day. Which makes nine years ago today.
As crazy as it sounds, I knew I loved him looong before I ever should have. I knew he was it.
And today, exactly nine years after we met, he's still got me completely head over heels for him.
He's still got me.
And he still gets me.

And he meets me where I am.
And I want nothing more than to be with him forever.
He is my favorite.

He is amazing.
And he is mine.
Sometimes that still blows me away.

I am constantly amazed by this man, My Husband, whom I really don't deserve.
We've had our ups and downs over our batch of years together and he's been the same rock through it all. This past six months especially; and the past three that we've lived apart more than together... he's done nothing but step up to the plate again and again to make sure our relationship is happy and healthy and all that it can be.
Thinking about it today, nine years after we met, I have a fuller picture of what God placed in my lap the day we were introduced. A best friend for life. A husband who serves me, constantly. Willingly. He encourages me in all of my heart's desires. He never says no. He isn't impractical or impulsive, but he makes everything possible if it's in his power. He always puts me first. Always. He is the exact opposite of selfish when it comes to our relationship, our kids, our family.

As blessed, grateful and appreciative I was of the man I met then, it's multiplied again and again over the past nine years.

He is the best thing that ever happened to me and I have to celebrate the day he walked into my life :)

weekend report 2

Our long holiday weekend consisted of a perfect summer combination of sunshine, friends, barbecued burgers, a brand new one-year-old, a bounce house, four trips to the pool in three days, water guns, hot dogs, s'mores, yardwork, cupcakes, a movie night, kabobs, strawberries and cream puffs, funchairs, an evening walk after a storm, a morning out to breakfast, whoonu, lots of laughing, snow cones, scrabble and a wedding anniversary.

It was so nice to have Ryan home for a whole four days. So nice.

Sunday night we had our great friends over to share in some yummy food and some much needed, kick back and relax, hang out time together. And we played a game or two. I had a fabulous time.



































I just had to snap a picture of the girls (SJ and Yuri) crashed out after bedtime :)








The whole weekend was an excellent hello to Summer...












Plenty more of this to come!!