Ryan's last day at work. That's all I have to say about that.
I took pictures of the house yesterday for the realtor. And in copying them over I looked thru the old pics of this house both from the listing when we bought it and also from when we first moved in. Amazed by the differences in each and every room... can't wait to share them!
Looking forward to a (last?!) good old game night gathering with our loyal game night friends this weekend. Bittersweet.
Officially signed with our realtor... house will be listed ASAP. Also bittersweet.
Excited for the sunshine and warmer temperatures this weekend! (pretty sad that 40° is considered warmer temperatures worthy of celebration. where are we again, michigan?? missouri's already supposed to be easily in the 50's by now!)
Savannah's last game for Cheering this weekend. She has had so much fun with that!
Think we're planning a zoo trip on Sunday... they let the penguins out to walk around the zoo on Sunday afternoons and while I know they like the snow, we've stayed away while it's been below freezing around here! We definitely want to go march with the penguins though this winter before we leave. Anyone up for meeting us there for lunch maybe?
I just came downstairs to find my four-year-old helped himself to cold pizza out of the fridge for breakfast. I did say four and not fourteen years old, right?
Ryan called our realtor earlier this week to get the ball rolling on putting our house on the market. We were simply hoping to at least get a sign out front since our neighbor is having an open house this weekend and it'd be nice to be noticed by his traffic. I thought it was looking doubtful since our realtor wouldn't be able to make it out here or meet with us until late this week.
Well, she called Ryan yesterday afternoon and said she knows our house isn't formally "listed" yet (and she hasn't even seen it or us in almost three years) but she knew she really liked our house and had a client coming in from out of town tomorrow (today) who was set on our neighborhood and would we mind if she showed it to them? She told Ryan it would be mid-afternoon... 2-2:30ish. (at least that's what he relayed to me...).
Yikes! Never mind that we were still in the middle of a couple of projects (a stalled drapery hanging half done, some wayward tile in our bathroom, boxes everywhere in our basement) and have yet to clean floors or shampoo carpets, how could we pass up a possible buyer who happens to be set on buying in our neighborhood? Besides, it was totally doable. Maybe. We just needed to get our butts in gear.
(and I should mention here that I had a friends' kids here all afternoon yesterday, helping her out while they're getting ready to move out of state this weekend... and then had the whole family over for dinner! something I probably wouldn't have purposely scheduled for last night when I needed to be switching into chaotic, panic, must-suddenly-make-our-house-say "buy me! buy me! aren't I the most beautiful house you've ever seen"-presentable mode. four hyper kids don't really help the house presentable idea. but sharing an evening with all of them was worth it. for the last time *sniff*)
So we shooed away our guests (not really!), put our kids to bed early and got to work last night finishing a few priorities and cleaning up our kitchen table area which has become command central for paint and tools and house project supplies. Today my job was to clean everything else up... get the rooms all showable, vacuum, dust, wash windows, oh and at least make the basement presentable. I was actually getting stuff accomplished this morning, despite a baby who (great timing) decided to not sleep at all and pretty much cried all morning. Still, even with him attached to my hip, by the time I was due to pick up Sawyer from preschool I had every room in the house ready sans vaccuming and dusting and a big pile of stuff to take downstairs. I had at all planned out; I'd pick up Sawyer, run to the store for a couple of last minute things, and get back with plenty of time to do a quick vacuum and dust job and then do what I could in the basement, at least straightening up the living areas down there, with time to spare! It wasn't even noon and I could easily accomplish that and still be out of here by 2!!
But I no sooner walk in the door from picking up Sawyer at 11:30 then the phone rings. It's our realtor and she's in the next neighborhood over and is hoping to swing by. Um, like now. Aaaaaack! I switch to hyper mode and make a couple of quick trips out to the garage with the piles that were at the top of the stairs, forego the vacuuming and dusting and instead do a quick broom sweep of the kitchen and bathroom (and by that I mean literally sweeping things UNDERNEATH rugs), pile the kids in the car and back out of the driveway just as they're pulling up. I never even touched the basement. It's embarrassing... that's where everything else in the whole house got thrown for these last couple weeks of revamping!
So we have grimy floors and smeary windows and a chaotic basement, but most everything else was in place and we had our first showing! And I'm hoping the little details will be overlooked since it was obvious this was a last minute, premature, prelisted showing. Wouldn't that be nice though if we had a buyer for our house before it was even on the market??
Anyway. We're ready now. Basement clean up is on the docket for tonight and then we're officially ready. And hoping for more showings soon!
And since I'm pretty much done stressing about house stuff, maybe I'll get some before and after pics posted on here. Ryan found a file of pictures of this house when we first looked at it, the images from that original listing and it's crazy to see the difference! Actually it's crazy to see the pics they choose to list! ha! If you ask me, this thing'll show a lot better this time around... :)
Gah! Almost a week since my last post! I've actually started a couple, one with pics even (gasp!) but my computer has decided it's not always my friend lately so those haven't gone anywhere. And it won' happen anytime soon as I'll be busy taking care of four boys here all day, have two episodes of LOST to watch tonight and a short list of things to still get done before we meet with our realtor this week!
But just to refresh the page here real quick, I thought I'd jump in with a pic for the I ♥ Faces theme this week; Hands-On Fun! Gotta love finger hand painting!
You should know I have absolutely no idea where this post is going or where it will end up!
I'm feeling restless tonight. Restless and a little bit whiny, just to warn you.
And I know- all I talk about is house stuff anymore.
I'm tired of doing all this house stuff. Okay, I'm not tired of it really, because I really love doing all this stuff; I love organizing and clearing out and spiffy-ing things up and updating things and getting creative and making things look new again (and buying new things!!).
I just wish I weren't doing it for other peoples' benefit.
And I wish I were done already.
I think I just need to stop. I think the more I do, the more I want to do. Like if I make one thing look fresh and clean and perfect, it makes me want to fix every other single thing in the room so it's perfect too. And then in the next room. And the next. And I could probably keep going for a loooong time. And we frankly don't have time for that.
I just need to call it good and hope that a buyer will fall in love with this house even if it's not perfect and that this house can sell exactly when and for how much we need it to.
And save my energy to put into our new house. When we don't have any money to spend, HA!
---------- I'm just in a funk tonight. And my tailbone still hurts. And I cut my finger somewhere between putting together a pantry cabinet and installing new blinds and it has been throbbing all day like a buggar.
I think I need a drink tonight. Or a milkshake. Probably both. But my drink master/milk shaker has left for the evening to go run around with a bunch of guys on a soccer field so I'm just sitting laying here on the couch feeling sorry for myself with my sore bum and tired feet and wallowing in my restless, whiny mood.
---------- Sawyer broke down a few times in the last few days about moving. Surprisingly he's taking this a lot harder than Savannah who is the worrier and definitely more attached to friends and school here. I guess, though, that this is the only home Sawyer knows. Savannah remembers moving once or twice. Sawyer's been here for 3/4ths of his short little life and it's all he knows.
Ryan went to Nashville, just for the day yesterday to deliver some work stuff, so he was gone early (5am) and back late (9pm). Sawyer broke down the night before when Ryan told him ahead of time that he would be gone for the whole day and he wouldn't see him the next day. I thought Sawyer was crying just because he'd miss his dad, although that's an odd reaction considering Ryan's been gone plenty of times before. Well it started out as "I'll miss you so much" and quickly turned into a blubbering mess of "I don't want to move to Nashville!". Something about Ryan going down there really got Sawyer going. I think all this house stuff going on lately is distracting... Sawyer loves to help and he's actually been a part of almost every thing we've done here; pulling up leftover staples when we removed carpet, painting, tool assistant, etc. He loves tools and jobs and even cleaning stuff he'll, get right in and beg to be handed a task. And he'll talk up big these kinds of things we'll do in a new house we want to buy and what color he wants his room and so on and so forth. But when it comes down to it... when he was reminded that Ryan is actually going to work down there... that it is so far away... that he has no idea what we're really getting ready for... he's having a hard time with that.
We talked briefly earlier this week about taking a trip down there this weekend to look around some more and get a feel for houses and such. We kind of nixed the idea because we have a few things on the calendar this weekend and want to be sure we have everything wrapped up on this house here and get this thing listed! Now I'm kind of wishing we were going... maybe Sawyer will feel a bit better looking around and actually being in Nashville. Right now it's just this unknown in his head... he hasn't been there since he was 11 months old!
*sigh*... have I mentioned I'm just ready for this all to be over??
Friday the Swinigans watched our kids so Ryan and I could go out. We went to dinner and then out to hear some great music. Really, anyone local here (well, I guess anywhere, because they do tour!) is missing a great show if you haven't seen Fundamental Elements. And I'm not just saying that because we know a few band members! We had a great time and it was especially sweet for us because Russ did a cover of "our song"... which was our first dance at our wedding reception! Awwww....
Saturday we buckled down and hashed out a ton on the house projects. That is, in between Savannah's game in the a.m., a big trip to Lowe's in the afternoon and then taking the kids out for V-day. We originally talked about taking them individually out for special little one-on-one dates on Saturday and then switching kids and doing it again on Sunday. But we were really wanting to pound out a lot of projects over these two days, so we revamped our plan and did one whole family date, letting the kids each pick a place they wanted to go. Sawyer picked Sports Authority. Yes, the sporting goods store. He likes to use their putters on the little practice green and look at bikes. :) Savannah chose Steak 'n Shake. And then changed her mind to McDonalds. We are fancy.
Today we woke up to valentine donuts and the kids opened their traditional valentine gift of a new always-something-about-how-much-we-love-them-book tied to a mylar valentine balloon and after church (and a yummy lunch of biscuits and gravy- thanks honey!!) we got back to work. We painted the entryway, the wall at the top of the stairs and the half bath, installed two new lights (the bathroom and the one above the kitchen table) and finished up a few other miscellaneous things. And that was just today! I'm hopeful we can get the ball rolling on listing the house by the end of this week!
Ryan and I are ending the night early with a little Sailors and a dose of Big Love. That's my idea of a great valentine!
We had a busy weekend, but I think it turned out to be a good balance of some quality time for us grown-ups (Friday night), quality time all together (team races at Lowe's, our classy v-day date with the kids, some good meals and some snuggle time during some movies at home), and even some good quality time for just the kiddos with each other (while we neglected them for home improvement projects and left them to fight it out fend for themselves with video games, movies, games and snacks with each other).
Hope you had a fun day (or weekend) celebrating the ones you love in your life!
I got the kids in on it too... on a much smaller level of course, obviously leaving out my story and the grown up realities of depression and addictions and such.
We talked about being reminded and knowing how much they're loved. While we talked this morning, I let them pick out stickers and stamps and designs to mark on their arms to remember throughout the day. (Savannah liked my t-shirt and that we were being so literal about it!)
We talked a little about how some people are extra sad and don't always know or remember that they're loved or that their life is good and that we always have to remember to share God's love and to treat people specially and let them know we care whenever we have the chance.
We talked about how the more we love each other in our family and make each other feel loved and important in our home, the easier it is to "fill other people's buckets" so to speak.
Today, Friday the 12th, is unofficially a "Write Love on Her Arms" Day... a day to write words of love and hope on your arms to raise awareness of and even maybe to be an encouragement and a source of direction for anyone suffering from depression or addictions and needing someplace or someone to turn to.
Write it on, show it off, and tell your story if you have one.
Part of my story is the fact that I spent a lot of my early teenage years engulfed in "functioning" depression. The depression was very real, although I kept it all to myself because I was able to continue to function mostly normally (i.e. school, work, etc) rather than the stereo-typical depression where I would be completely unable to get myself out of bed or do anything at all. I think high functioning depressives are wired so that their symptoms interact with their personalities in a way that allows them to still get on with life, although internally we often come to a halt. I consider high-functioning depression really scary because unlike low-functioning depression, there are no outside symptoms as a red flag for others. On the outside you appear fine, great even. But it's completely a facade because things are so falling apart on the inside and you're so scared because you don't know how long you can keep it together... wondering when it'll finally all come apart and all come out. Leaving you even emptier.
For a few years as a teen I cut myself. I hid it well and only a very few people knew, but I did it often. To this day, twenty years later, my arms have faint scars from where I cut, burned or rubbed my skin raw. I hated myself... but so wanted to love myself. I felt so alone... so achingly lonely, for a long time.
I never reached out and now -in my older wisdom and experience- I so wish I would have. I could have used help. I could have used a friend. I could have used love. I missed out on a lot of life. On a lot of me.
Fortunately this was something I eventually climbed out of... through lots of prayer and the support of a couple of good friends and mentors. I "outgrew" some of the early teenage angst and stopped with the self-injury and tried to keep focused on other things. I do believe it's all still there... whatever imbalance is in my brain or personality that makes me prone to depression... it's still very much there on the edge of my life waiting for my weakness. It swept in again when I was pregnant with my second child; I had severe prenatal depression for almost all of my middle trimester. The time when you're supposed to be feeling good, right?! Anyway, I did talk to a counselor that time and it helped tremendously.
I think my mental health is something I'll have to keep close tabs on my whole life.
Meanwhile, this has become one of my favorite and one of the foremost on my heart charities the past couple of years... a movement that deserves attention and awareness. The need is great.
(the rest of this post is pretty much paraphrasing -if not directly quoting- from their website)
To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.
The hope is that we all -every single one of us- actually believe these things...
That you were created to love and be loved.You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known.You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story.You need to know that your life matters.
We live in a difficult world, a broken world. The truth is, life is hard for most people most of the time. Everyone can relate to pain, all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.
Life if full of mystery and beauty but also tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions and moments and seasons and cycles that try to rob us the joy our life is supposed to be. We know that pain is very real. But we need to suggest that hope is real... and that help is real.
It needs to be known that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption and renewal. We can see it happen. We can see lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it; that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.The movement behind TWLOHA has a vision. The vision is that community and hope and help would replace suffering and secrets and silence. The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles. The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world. That we can heal those who harm themselves. The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need. The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.
The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.
The vision is the possibility of the realization that we're more loved than we'll ever know.
The vision is hope, and hope is real.
You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.
It's such a bummer that the few times we've finally actually got any good amount of snow around here this winter, the wicked wind rolls in with it and it's way too unbelievably cold to actually go out and play.
They teased us with the promise of snow all day yesterday... we got a slight dusting early morning -enough that they called off school because the roads were just barely covered but the forecast called for snow all day. But then we really didn't get any more snow all day. The kids kept begging me to go out, but it was wet and sloppy snow and it was only in the wet grass, not really worth the 15 minutes of bundling up, so I convinced them to hold off for the good stuff later in the day.
Which we never got.
Until overnight.
We now have a nice five inches of snow out there! But it's also only 12° outside and cuttingly windy so that the wind chill is well below zero and it's whipping the snow all around so that it stings your face. Grrr.
I am going to bundle them up and let them run outside for a bit this afternoon (notice I said them, not me!) while the sun's out, just to have been able to get out in it. We'll see how long they last.
In the meantime, while we've been holed up in the house, we decided to work on our Valentines today. Got out the camera, snapped some pics, plugged it into the printer, grabbed the scissors and some suckers and wha-lah...
I got a ton done yesterday thanks to my fabulous friend Sarah, as she kept me childless for almost the whole day. She took Sawyer as soon as Savannah was off to school and kept him not only for the morning, but for the afternoon as well even though her own four-year-old went to preschool after lunch! She dropped Sawyer off back here just as Savannah was getting off the bus. (We've been minus Caleb all week -and next!!- as he's got a grandma in town loving on him at home!)
I got so much done all by my lonesome yesterday! I ran a couple of errands sans little people to get in and out of carseats and then I got home and got to work on house stuff. Mostly cleaning, purging and organizing our bedrooms. Both the kids closets were gone through, condensed and organized and then I hit our master bedroom and bathroom. Which was a day's project in itself. It's been the absolute catch-all for everything around here for what seems like the last six months. I'm not even joking. You could not even see a square inch of the floor of my walk-in closet. It was atrocious.
Here's what I removed from my bedroom and bathroom: three water glasses four Target bags full of garbage three bags of storage stuff to go in the basement a big box of craft supplies a bag of school supplies I stocked up on when they were marked down after the fall two dozen books and notebooks of the kids' to be put away from our vacation in August a laundry basket full of outgrown kids clothes to be sorted and put in basement bins three garbage bags full of clothes and shoes from my closet a baby walker and a half dozen toys
Gah!
And oh it feels good to have four beautifully clean bedrooms (closets and all), two spotless bathrooms (even if they're both still under construction with painting and regrouting) and perfectly organized linen closets. We're finishing up the bathroom work today and spot painting and patching here and there and then the whole upstairs should be good to go!
Our new carpet in the family room will be installed next week and besides painting the front door and entryway, the main floor is looking good too.
Next we just have to attack the basement and the garage. I just need to pack up some things and condense some boxes down in the basement and give it a quick cleaning. The garage will be quite a project though... in the winter months that place really gets out of control! It's so cold out there that everything just congregates by the back door; we don't really put things away, we just toss it out there and leave it to take care of later! It's been crazy cold this year so we really haven't done anything but run out to get stuff as fast as we can and then shove stuff back out the door for the past three months! We'll have to wade in and get that stuff to where it belongs on shelves and such. If we don't get lost that is!
As much as I love having snow days to take advantage of the winter months, I'm really hoping for a break in these chilly temperatures we've had here all winter... a few warm sunny days would be greatly appreciated as we need to get some painting and some work done outside so we can get this house on the market!
I am declaring now that the next house we buy I am going to do everything I want to do/change/make our own right away when we first move there.
This fixing up your house and doing all the things you always wanted to but never got around to doing stuff is for the birds. This is the second time we've done this in the past three years. It's really not so fun to do all the stuff you've been wanting to do... just for someone else to enjoy!
Things we did accomplish for ourselves in this house in the past two and a half years:
painted four bedrooms, one bathroom, great room, kitchen, laundry room, half the basement and half the playroom.
installed some new light fixtures
new shelving in laundry room
painted master bathroom and all kitchen cabinetry
tore out and retiled backsplash in kitchen
new appliances
window treatments in all bedrooms and dining room
powerwashed house last summer
some new landscaping and made two new flowerbeds
Things we have had on our list since we moved in and are now trying to accomplish as quickly as possible before we can put the house on the market so we can move out:
new carpet
more new light fixtures
painting two more bathroom cabinets
regrout master shower
paint master bathroom
paint trim on house
clean grout on tile floor
replace vertical blinds in kitchen and family room
paint front door and repair and paint front door surround
new front doorknob and bolt
and of course lots of purging and organizing and cleaning like crazy!
We've made decent progress so far. Hoping to wrap it up in the next week or two (although there's no sign of temps getting up much above freezing to do the outdoor painting we have to do!). Stay tuned for lots of before and after pics over the next couple of months :)
For no other reason than the fact that I have so much to say about it. I can't possibly write it all... I can barely put most of it into words, there is so much going on in my head on a day to day basis. I'm having a really hard time wrapping my head around some all of it.
We are moving to Nashville. After much thinking and praying and talking and praying and weighing and praying and debating and praying Ryan accepted the position he was offered with a research group at a well respected medical university in Nashville, Tennessee. I am so incredibly proud of my husband as this is an amazing opportunity for him and it's exciting to see him looking forward to being a part of such important work in this field. And to know everyone is so anxious to have him on board. I know he will be so successful in this.
Not as excited, looking forward to or anxious about the move though. Well, maybe anxious, but not in a completely good way. It was a really tough decision for us because we really really didn't want to have to leave here. Really. But... A) Ryan would have a really hard time passing up this opportunity and I'm sure would kick himself for a long time after if he did. and B) We're getting down to the wire here and while he was pretty confident something would have eventually panned out here at home (but with some nervewracking time in between I'm sure), honestly a job in Nashville is better than no job.
So we're going. Don't know when, don't know how, but it's been decided.
Ryan starts down there March 1. Hopefully four days a week and he'll come home on the weekends. Our original thinking was he'll do that for three months and then we'll all move down once the school year winds down in June, letting the kids finish out everything here in the spring and with their classes.
Now that a decisions been made though, suddenly I'm kind of in the mindset of; if we're going to move I just want to get it over with. I don't want to drag it out for six months... it'll be cheaper for us if we can just move as soon as possible, we can get it over with and start getting settled down there, etc. I don't want this consuming our life for the next five/six months.
The problem is, we really need to either move now or in June. Anytime in between is just not good for Savannah being in school... who wants to start in a new class and school and routine ad friends with just like eight weeks left of the school year?? But June seems so far away and we can't possibly move right away, right away; we have plenty to do with this house before we can put it on the market and Ryan is really hesitant to even think about putting an offer on something else before this is sold.
So.
Who knows what we're doing.
And I have a lot to say about a lot of that... church and friends and neighborhoods and finding a new house... things I'm thinking about leaving behind and things I'm wondering about going into... lots of reflection, lots of wondering, lots of stuff.
I'm sure some of that will make it's way here as I process it. I hope so, because I need to process it.
So losing teeth is turning out to be not one of my most favorite milestones around here. I should have known after the trauma drama of the last one that losing teeth does not come easily to a certain little drama queen around here. Seriously.
Savannah's top two teeth have been loose since before Christmas. This one top one has been severely loose for the past week... just hanging on by a thread. She was able to push it all the way forward and all the way back and it really could rock completely sideways both ways as well. But she would. not. pull. it. out. Finally last night it was driving me crazy and we ended up in this big ordeal where Ryan and I were saying you pull it out or we will. I was honestly certain if we didn't pull it out it would fall out while she was sleeping and she'd either choke on it or it'd get lost in her bed. But no. Fifteen minutes and a bunch of tears and fits and threats later (turns out you can't really pull a six-year-old's tooth out against her will too easily), she went to bed. Still with all her teeth. She is such a chickenwuss freak when it comes to this stuff.
Sure enough, at 4:45 this morning Savannah comes in our room saying her tooth fell out. So of course she doesn't go back to sleep after that. Which means neither do I.
But it's finally out:
How many more of these do we have to go? I personally think the tooth fairy should be the one that gets paid this time.
Teach us to number our days right Lord, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. -Psalm 90:12
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"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so." ~Mary Jean Iron
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