ignore the rambling

I was originally just going to do a general overview of our last weekend in St Louis... of course it was chock full of lots of things to do and people to see and goodbye after goodbye and I had it in my head that it would be easier to do one of my general paraphrase the weekend posts with a few pictures.
See condensed version below.
But it turned out to be bigger than just those words. And even the pictures.
We were really touched this weekend by the realization that I think we'll be missed more than we thought. It was humbling that so many friends went out of their way to say so.

This move is so different than last time. We didn't have the friends in Michigan that we have here. It was hard to originally leave Oregon and say goodbye to a lifetime of friends and family there, but we had a good amount of time to do it and the confidence that that's where our roots are and we'd be back. Leaving Michigan three years ago, however, we really didn't have many to say goodbye to... really only two good family friends. Short and sweet.
Here though, between our neighborhood and schools and college friends and our church connections, it's a different story. This has been our home for the last three years and we've built up a pretty nice "home". I knew it'd be hard to say goodbye, but it's been harder than I thought. I'm really drained after this weekend.

I'll just start from the beginning.
(and it'll be a long middle and end, so feel free to skim or skip as so desired. this is mostly for journaling my thoughts)(i also may have trouble containing the typing freeflow since i've been somwhat limited in my internet and blogging the past couple of weeks. i need regular brain dumps around here or it gets messy!)

I already mentioned Sawyer's favorite part of the whole goodbye weekend; two whole days of Reece time. While he was occupied by his love, I managed to get quite of bit of organizing done. We're having movers pack us up, but there was plenty of laundry to do and things to be put in order before they could do their job correctly. So that's how I spent Friday afternoon. Oh and we celebrated the birthday boy and had him open presents early Friday evening since we knew we'd be pressed for time the whole rest of the weekend. :)
We also went to the neighborhood's annual Midnight Swim. We had yet to go in the three summers we've been here (not really appealing with preschoolers) and Ryan really wanted to at least say we'd done it once, so we all headed down to the pool at 9pm. We only hung around for an hour or so, chit chatting, eating pizza and twinkies and letting the kids think they were so cool, swimming at night before we all headed home to bed. We had a busy two days ahead of us!

Saturday we were up bright and early, getting some errands out of the way, Savannah and Sawyer went over to Reece's again and Ryan and I went out for a little birthday breakfast and then tried to work on more house stuff. We grabbed the kids after lunch, ran some more errands and then headed over to see the Swinigans. We had a great visit, yummy dinner and happy birthday cake before saying our goodbyes. We are so going to miss those guys. Kevin and Heather went to school with Ryan in Greenville, but I didn't know them when we moved here. I don't even remember Ryan really ever mentioning them before we moved here. Then we randomly found out that they lived just a couple miles from us and that they had two kids in similar ages to ours. We hooked up right away, with them inviting us over for dinner the very first week we were here and have pretty much been fast friends ever since. The kids have always gotten along so perfectly with such similar personalities and Heather and I couldn't have been better matched as mom friends. It's just bizarre sometimes how alike we are in everything from the way we keep our house and get flack from our husbands to our views on pregnancy, parenting and everything in between. It's hard to find a really great friend in the same stages of life who is so consistently compatible with the way you live your life everyday. They were such a blessing to us. I'm thankful we're only going five hours away.

Saturday evening we hurried from their house back to our turf for a little block party/s'mores night/goodbye send-off. This was one of my very favorite things about living here; the neighbor gatherings. Whether they were impromptu in the street or a planned shin-dig in a backyard, it was always a great time. With drinks flowing and people coming and going, kids riding around, running around, playing hide and seek and flashlight tag while all the grown ups sit around in lawn chairs laughing it up. This weekend we had a firepit set up in the street out on the corner by our house and everyone was really gracious with snacks and desserts and even put together balloons for the birthday boy and a basket of St Louis goodies to send us off with.
We were reminiscing that it was exactly three years ago, coincidentally for Ryan's birthday even, that we were celebrating for the first time together at our house. It's been a great three years in this amazing neighborhood (four summers actually!) and we're so sad to be leaving it behind. I hope the newbies taking our place know a good thing when they see it!

Sunday we had a bittersweet last morning at church. Pastor Mike made mention of the fact during service and spoke a few words and in fact teared up and it so took me by surprise and brought me to tears as well and kicked off a whole day of finding myself on the verge. They had planned a lunch party for us, but honestly, the whole church goodbye thing was a little iffy to me going in. I didn't really know what to expect.
I'm just being totally honest here, and I really don't want to offend anyone reading that is part of this wonderful church, but I was ready to say goodbye. It's been a long two and a half years of us being involved in this church and we've definitely had our ups and downs. Don't get me wrong, it's a fabulous church with amazing things going on, but truthfully it's been a sigh of relief for us to not have to struggle with some of the questioning we've had about whether we personally really belonged there or not. Long story short, we tried to be involved and plugged in from day one there and while the church as a whole is nothing but gracious and friendly and not one person ever made us feel unwelcome... we've never truly felt a complete part of the family. The church started out as a small group and I think tended to be a little clique-ish and it was really hard -at least for us- to break into that. The church has grown up a lot and people have come and gone and I think it's all gotten better, but we really struggled with that for a long time. Part of the reasons we wanted to jump in and be so involved, with tech service and children's ministry and MOPS and as small group leaders, were to have an "in" to be part of that core group, to be part of something bigger, to build bonds quickly. But it was hard. A lot harder than I thought.

In the first six months we were a part of that church we had probably a dozen different families over for dinner and reached out to several more. Yet not once have we ever been invited to dinner ourselves. Even now, after two years of being "friends" with all these people. Nada.
And I'd be okay if it turned out people just don't think like we do, maybe they just don't have people over period. But I'd hear over and over about all the things all these guys did together outside of church... get togethers and swapping babysitting and taking trips together. And I get the fact that they're good friends and they have a history and all that. They all know each other. I get that. And I slowly learned that yes, they were wonderfully friendly with us, but they were friends with each other. I just didn't know how to change that.
I struggled for a long time thinking it was just us, just me, no one had any desire to get to know us because of us, plain and simple. But after opening up and talking about it with a couple of others who knew the church or were in it with us, I was relieved to hear that it wasn't just me, that it was real and that I wasn't the only one to ever feel that. And I realized that it may not always such a big deal to others coming into the church sometimes because they have other history here. I think it stood out to us more because we came looking for those bonds and those friendships in a church family because we were basically alone coming here. We were banking on a church family. We needed a church family.
I think people -and not to be focusing on our church specifically, but people in general- -although actually I do think people of a church have a greater responsibility in this- just tend to sometimes be oblivious to the simple fact that people need friends. Real friends. It's easy for people who are already plugged in and have a full life and friends and family around... it's easy to forget I think that there are people who aren't and don't. There are people who need friends. Who need to feel truly welcome and wanted and loved. You don't have to suddenly be their best friend, but a little true effort goes a long way.
Ironically, that was the topic of the first sermon we heard on the first time we visited that church. That people need friends. Real friends to truly function in this life. He spoke much to the fact that so many people in this world are lonely these days and that we as Christians need to be loving them. It hit home to me, having moved around so much and being new to the area and I thought, great! a church that really gets it! Interesting.

Anyway, all that to say, after a summer of a little depression wrapped around this crazy in-between life we've been living and really not seeing much of anyone from church (because I stopped trying) I was a little hesitant to have this goodbye luncheon thing thrown for us. I didn't really feel the church needed to send us off. I didn't think that other than our few friends from small group, there was much else goodbye to say.
But. God is good and we had a great afternoon at a local park with food and kids running around everywhere and we did get to catch up with friends we've been missing this summer in our comings and goings and to share the details of this crazy adventure we've been on and to say some good goodbyes. It was really great to touch base with some of these people one more time and to hear that people had been praying for us and will still be praying for us and that we weren't as alone as we may have felt.
We had a great afternoon. I'm so glad we had that time and had some closure on this chapter in our journey. There really are some awesome people at that church and we'll miss lots of those families.

The Malones also drove out and joined us for lunch at the park with everyone and then came home with us for some more laid back visit time before we took off. It was really great to spend some time with them... it'd been too long!
After they left we swang by and had dinner with another couple from our small group and said some more goodbyes there.
And then came home and said goodbye to more neighbors.

Whew! Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!
It was a lot for two days. And like I said, I'm exhausted!

But here we are in the real last week.
I headed down to Nashville with the kids for school (Sawyer starts preschool this week too! yay!!) and Ryan stayed put in STL with the packers and the movers and to get everything wrapped up to hand over keys on Thursday. I can't believe it's here already. A whole six months of wait wait wait and here we are in a couple of weeks time really saying goodbye.
It's kind of surreal. Especially since the kids and I left and the house was all put together and normal like we're just going out for the day. I don't think it's sunk in yet that we won't be going back to it.
Or that we'll have a new house this Friday! Crazy!!

last weekend

Playdates galore, dinners, picnics, playgrounds, birthday cake, s'mores, block party, balloons, kids everywhere, hugs, tears, so many friends, so many goodbyes.

This was our last weekend in the place we've called home the past three years. Hard to wrap that up in a weekend, but we tried.
(with minimal pictures... once again I failed with photographic documentation)
(but here's what I do have)

the 33rd

Any idea where the year went?

I think I missed it, running around in circles, taking care of stuff...
And I wonder...
did I love you enough?
did I look at you and really see the amazing man you are-
and tell you how lucky I am to be married to you?

Because I am, you know...
I am and I do and I will-
and I hope you know it.

You're my favorite thing to celebrate.
Happy Birthday.

playdate

Emphasis on Date.

This is Sawyer's favorite buddy.






















This is who he, thus far, has determined he will marry.
He talks about this fact on a regular basis, even not having seen her the past three months since school's been out. When we talk about new friends we'll meet after getting settled in Nashville, he is eager to meet new buddies, but always makes sure I know no matter how many new friends he makes, he's still going to marry "Ree".





















And it appears they're on the same page.
I heard through the grapevine that all summer Ree was devastated thinking that Sawyer had moved away. She asked her mom if "people can grow up and marry someone who lives in another world"... translation; can I marry Sawyer even though he moved to Tennessee?? Awww...

A few weeks ago we ran into their preschool teacher and afterward she mentioned to Ree's mom that we were still in town and passed on our number. They just so happened to call us the same week we got the offer on our house and we all know the crazy joy ride we've been on since then, the majority of that ride physically being in Nashville. So we still haven't been able to get to see Ree until now.
With this being our last weekend here in STL, we made a point of hooking up these lovebirds.

Sawyer called Ree when we got home Thursday evening. Oh. My. Goodness.
I have never seen him so flipping excited. He was shaking the whole time he was talking to her. Not like nervous shaking (this was his first friend-to-friend phone call on his own) but just unbelievably excited shaking. He looked like he was shivering like crazy and he could barely talk. And his grin was ear to ear.

So Ree came over to play yesterday. And play they did. They played Zingo and Sorry and pool and cards and race cars and basketball and kitchen and playdough and read comics and swang and had popsicles and I have never seen two kids have so much simple fun together.
It was awesome.































































































Sawyer played photog too...














































































And they're back at it today. Yes, two dates in two days. Sawyer and Savannah have been at Ree's house all morning (she has an older brother Savannah's age as well) and are staying for lunch. Kind of sad we missed the chance to soak up more Ree time all summer. She's a sweet little girl!

sunday

So it's been quite a week.
My parent's decided to come visit last minute before my mom's summer break was over, so we've had them here, six of us living in a cozy two bedroom condo all this week. We got here last Sunday and as luck would have it, our hot water was out until Tuesday at noon. Then the power was out Wednesday morning and our cars have been behaving questionably. So it's been a week.

We did get some fun stuff under our belts; showed off the new house, looked around downtown Nashville, the riverfront and Centennial park, toured the Galleria, and spent lots of time at the pool.

Ryan and I were treated to not one, but two date nights. The first was a bit of a bust as we hadn't planned ahead at all, it was rainy and stormy and obviously don't know much about this new town. We did go have a drink at a really fun at a really fun bar and after, we tried to see a movie but had just missed everything starting and didn't really want to go to one that started at 10:45. Are we old or what?! So we went for dessert at Noshvilles instead. And then to Target for pullups and shower gel. Romantic, huh.
The next night we tried again and went to a local comedy club and had a great laugh with David Koechner. Loved it.

Today was a free family day at Nashville's Frist Center, so we went and checked that all out, saw the Chihuly stuff, watched some very cool glass blowing, did some great activities with the kids, and saw a glass harmonica concert. Good stuff.

So here we are starting another week here in Nashville.
Savannah is loving school. Loving it. And it makes me so happy.
And man am I ready for Sawyer to start preschool as well. I'm not sure what to do with ourselves for the next two weeks. Even with three adults in the house this week, it was painfully hard to keep him entertained. I guess it doesn't help that he doesn't have most of his toys or books or his bike or anything here. We swim and we play card games. And play card games and play card games and play card games.
We'll probably go find the library this next week. Any other ideas??

first day (if you can call it that)

First Day of Second Grade!
We slid in and got registered at the absolute very last minute and had to run out and buy school clothes (per public school dress code here) and school supplies, and today's only a half day, and they don't even have class tomorrow, but still.

First Day of Second Grade!










She's quite excited.
I think she's relieved to be there for the beginning. It's hard to be the new kid but at least she gets to start the new year with a new room and a new teacher and new routines right along with the rest of the kids. I'm so glad the Lord did that for her.
She didn't seem nervous at all this morning.
Just happy!























We didn't bring her backpack with us and although Sawyer has his here and said she could use it, she didn't like the idea of a black, totally boy, covered-with-sports-images backpack on her shoulder, so she opted to bring her stuff with a Target sack.























And little brother had to get in on the action (he's bummed he doesn't start for three more weeks):


































p.s. Savannah wanted you all to know we'll have a Second Day of Second Grade pic next week with the clothes she really wanted to wear on the first day. :)

warp speed

This still all feels surreal.

Last week --five days ago actually-- we still hadn't fully made up our minds on where SJ was going to start school, if she was going to start, trying to decide what to do while we waited for our house to sell going into the sixth month on the market, living apart and in limbo like we have been.

Now, within the last four days, we have a contract on our house, found our new house, got settled in a contract with that, got SJ registered for school with the new address (she starts tomorrow!) and even got Sawyer enrolled in a great preschool.
Um, can you say crazy??

Crazy indeed; I feel like I've been running around in a million different directions with a thousand things going on in my head all at once. Oh, and two slightly talkative, excited, curious, goofy kids in either ear at all times. :)

So we got down here Sunday afternoon and went through a few houses: one we'd seen before and liked, one Ryan had seen the week before but I hadn't, and four others. We'd narrowed down the area we really wanted to try and be in, narrowing it further down with a certain few neighborhoods that felt like a better community, so really our pickings were slim. We've pretty much seen every house on the market that fit our criteria. [side note: the house we are buying was the 101st house Ryan had looked at with our realtor since moving here. over 101 houses on this hunt!!]
So coming down this week, we knew that we had to settle for one we'd seen, hope something new came up to surprise us, or decide to rent for awhile, hoping that someday soon our dream house would come on the market.
Well, we definitely liked a few we looked at on Sunday. Enough that we knew we could make it work for us anyway.

And by Monday we'd made our decision. Yes, twelve hours later.
I secretly knew it the minute I saw the new listing online last week and told Ryan he'd better call our realtor and get over there and look at it (I was up in St Louis) quick. Not that I fell in love with it from it's listing... one might even argue the opposite. And when Ryan saw it he wasn't that impressed. And when I made him take me back to go see it, I'll admit I was less thrilled with it in person than on the internet. But I had a feeling this was the one. And it wouldn't go away. And in the end, despite maybe even liking other houses better, it looks like this one's the one thats gonna be ours afterall.

This house, in all this time of us searching, came on the market the day before we got the offer on our house. This house was the only of our final four choices that was vacant and ready for a super quick close. This house is in a neighborhood that I originally hoped to be in but thought we couldn't afford. None of these factors weighed in on our decision but rather after the fact were realized, and once again I am in awe of how you-know-who is throwing this all together just in the nick of time.

Just in the nick of time indeed; Savannah starts school tomorrow. I knew Thursday was the first day of school but I didn't think in a million years that we'd have settled on a house and have a binding contract on it so fast and so I didn't think to bring any of Savannah's school clothes or school supplies with us from St Louis. I thought at the very best, she'd be able to start next Monday, the first full day of a full week for everyone, and after we'd have been back home to gather her stuff. I didn't bring any of her records, immunizations, birth certificate, nada. But once we had a contract on a house so fast (within an hour of making the offer!!) and knew what school she'd be in, I got on the ball and got on the phone and on the fax and went back and forth and all around and to the store for a school outfit (dress code here) and some extra supplies and everything worked out and she slid into her Meet the Teacher open house this afternoon just in time. She gets to start with the rest of the class on a The First Day, bright and early tomorrow morning. Amazing.

Can you believe how this is just all happening just so perfectly?!?
I am so enjoying this ride! I can't wait to see what's around the next corner.
It's been a roller coaster and we've suddenly been thrown into super sonic speed and who's to say that it'll be all downhill from here, but right now I'm enjoying this ride and I'm excited that it's finally looking like one I'll be glad I forked out the cash on tickets for in the end!

choices

Okay, so most likely by the time many others read this, a decision will have been made, but I wanted to write this out anyway to a) think outloud and 2) have a record of our options, pros and cons to look back on years down the road. Oh, and others' votes would be nice!

I did blog our final four house choices when we moved just over three years ago as well and I not only loved getting feedback and seeing what you all thought, but I love looking at it now, having chosen the house that we chose and seeing what we thought about everything way back when. If our pros are still pros and our cons are still cons. :)

So we narrowed it down to four houses yesterday, and I think we're down to two today so I'm just going to rundown the two.

Option 1: 2960sf, Traditional floor plan (what we have now); all (4) bedrooms upstairs; main floor has office (we'd make it a playroom); formal living room (we'd use as piano/computer room); big dining room; about the same sized kitchen we have now with a smallish pantry, corian counters (LOVE), nice maple cabinets, stainless steel apps including gas stovetop and double wall oven; HUGE family room off eat-in kitchen; florida room behind kitchen (added on to house with brick and windowed walls and tiled floors). Floors on main floor are beautiful maple wood in great condition, and all carpet in the front room and upstairs is newer in great condition.
Fenced backyard and the lot is almost 1/4acre. Great, flat, big backyard. Which is rare in Nashville.
(pictures)

Our feelings: Bedrooms are smallish... we've always said we'd rather great living space than lots of bedroom space if made to choose, but we're wondering on this one. The fourth bedrooms is teeeeny (10x10 is what they say, but it's an odd shaped space and doesn't really have a wall that would really fit more than a crib... maybe a twin bed. maybe) and it's attached to a walk-thru master closet, so really it'd make a good office/nursery, but not a legitamate bedroom. The other secondary bedrooms are 12x10. BUT there's a bonus room upstairs that is too small for what we want to use a bonus room for (pool table/big couch and tv)... it's 14x14 so it'd make a great 4th bedroom, leaving that teeny one for an office space or whatever.
The Florida room off the back of the house would make for an awesome pool/game room. It's just on the small side as well. It'd fit the pool table and a little bar table or something now, but no couch and big tv.
So. In the big picture, what we would hope to do would be to add on to that Florida room, making it a big bonus room large enough to house the pool table, bar area, our ginormous comfy couch Ryan will not part with and the big tv. Having such a great bonus room on the main floor would free up the "bonus room" upstairs to be a legitamate bedroom and giving us the sleeping space we need for more kids/houseguests.
This house has the biggest and flatest yard we've seen, while being up on a hill and there are beautiful views from all sides of the house. It's in a good neighborhood with a pool, but it's on one of the main roads of the neighborhood so there's a bit more traffic and no sidewalks, meaning the kids can't play out front and in the street like they do now. There is a culdesac one house over on our side, but I wouldn't be able to see them riding bikes or playing over there from the house.
The one thing we don't like on this one is the curb appeal is ugh. If I could know that someday we could add on a front stoop or porch or something, I'd love it, but as is it's rather blah. As in probably the most unappealing house on the block.
The only other thing I don't like is the main bathroom upstairs (for the kids and guests) is tiny. It's doable, but just small. Wondering if we could remodel that someday.

Option 2: 2916 sf, on a culdesac in a great neighborhood with pool, playground and tennis courts. All rooms are very big -even the bathrooms are huge- with tall ceilings and there is tons of storage; HUGE walk-in pantry in the kitchen, very spacious side entry garage, cabinets in the laundry room and very large walk-in closets in all the bedrooms. It's got a beautiful little stoney creek running right behind the house, but still a good enough yard to play in with a deck and a patio and a playset.
(pictures)

Our feelings: I was initially worried about the creek, because the yard kind of comes to a ledge and then it's a stoney drop off to the creek a few feet below. I'm not worried about our kids, but about friends coming over with toddlers and we'd have to be out in the yard with them constantly rather than kids playing and moms lounging on the deck, etc. When we went back and looked yesterday though, I realized there's a small stone border outlining the grass before the rocky ledge and we could follow that border and build a little "fence" or low wall of made up of stacked stones that would give even small kids a definite boundary and no one would be able to accidentally fall into the creek. It would actually be quite beautiful with the stone like that and the creek and all the big trees. So even though the other house seems like it has a bigger backyard and views, this one would definitely be more beautiful to be in. Plus its on a quiet culdesac and the kids could play and ride bikes out front whenever they want. I love the outside and the location more than the other.
The house however is the question. There are fewer rooms... where with the first house we have an office, living room, dining room, eat-in kitchen, family room and florida room on the main floor, this one simply has family room, dining room, eat-in kitchen. And the master bedroom. I'm not a fan of the master bedroom on the main level. So there's no main floor space for the kids to play except for the main family room. There's a good sized bonus room upstairs; it would probably fit (tightly) our pool table and couch, but not much room for kids playing. And it's right outside the kids bedrooms. Boo. These bedrooms are HUGE... with the biggest walk-in closets I've ever seen. They have desks and lego tables and things INSIDE their closets in the bedrooms. So technically the kids could store toys in their rooms with plenty of space. I've just never been a fan of toys in the bedrooms, I like having a seperate community playspace in the house. Especially for having friends over.
So. No main floor playspace, tight squeeze for the stuff we want in a bonus room, bonus room right next to the kids rooms.
And with this one as well, I don't love the exterior of the house. It's got columns. As in Gone with the Wind, porch to roof white columns. On a red brick house. Me no likey. But like I said, love the backyard (with the addition of a stone wall), love the culdesac, love the neighborhood.

So there you have it.
Option one has the completely attainable potential to be everything we want in a house with plenty of room. And a good big yard in a nice neighborhood.

Option two has a house that's beautiful and spacious but is not our ideal layout and has no potential to be anything different. It would work fine, but it would never be exactly how we'd wish it. But a beautiful yard in a good neighborhood on a culdesac where the kids could ride and play besides just our yard.

Also; houses are basically the same lot size, essentially the same square footage, and priced less than 3K apart. They go to the same high school and middle school, but different elementary school which are rated and scored essentially the same.

Ugh.
I hate tough decisions.

Thoughts??

chuckles

Sawyer still cracks my up every day.

Driving down yesterday, we were playing Nameits in the car and we were on a roll:
Savannah: "Name Things that are Green!"
All of us shouting out: "the grass... leaves... mom's shirt... our kitchen wall... Perry the Platypus... frogs...", etc.
Savannah: "Okay, name Things That Roll!"
All of us: "cars... trucks... skateboards... a rolling pin... dice... bowling ball...", etc.
Savannah: "Okay, name Types of Games!"
All of us: "soccer... board games... hockey... card games... freeze tag...", etc.
Savannah: "Okay, name Things That Are Ancient!"
Ryan and I: "um... pyramids... um.... Greek mythology... um... um...."
Sawyer: "What's ancient mean?"
Us: "Something really really old that's been around for a long long long time."
Sawyer: "Oh! I have one! Gramma G, Grampa G, Gramma Debbie and Grampa Andy!"

And this morning, after getting up and getting dressed I went to join the kids in the living room and Sawyer greeted me, "Good morning Mom, Welcome Up!"
Made me smile. :)

step one

163 days, 48 prospective buyers, 23 fresh flower bouquets, four open houses and almost two agents later, we are finally beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel of this whole moving thing. We signed an agreed contract on our house this evening.
Praise the Lord!!

I've been feeling such the blessing of a sense of peace about all of this this week, even before we had the offer. Just feeling God whispering to me that it's all going to be okay, it's all going to work out, even though I can't see it, it's all in His sight. And, as God likes to do, this feeling has been topped off with little bits of validation all week as well in random words from friends, family and miscellaneous corners of the internet.
This being the latest and most obvious:

(from the hilarious blog Stuff Christians Like)
(and from which I did not change a thing... he's honestly in the midst of moving to Nashville, and even mentions having his daughter change schools a week before school starts)
(how very cool is that?!?!!!)
(and how perfectly -and exactly- can God speak to me through others??)
(and why am I still using parenthesis??)
Anyway, he writes:
Fortunately, this whole thing has been a complete God send and has been incredibly clear and there’s no doubt and God hand delivered a piece of paper that had the next ten years detailed so there’s no concern on that end.
As far as being able to accurately list out the exact things we should be doing, and the exact timeframe during which we should do it, we’ve got that covered. When it comes to accurately discerning the minute details of God’s plan for our lives, all I do is excel.

Or not.

Despite prayers and hopes, plans and confirmations, life is never so simple that all the pieces line up, giving you a 100-year road map to the future.
Sometimes, there is risk involved in moving on. Sometimes, if you’re single, you have to stretch outside your comfort zone to start a new relationship. Sometimes, a job you didn’t expect takes you to extraordinarily unexpected places.

And in those moments we often turn to God. But what does he say?
We often come to him with two buttons; “Run” and “Wait.” We want him to take his gigantic God fist and pound one cleanly. No hanging chad, we want to know instantly and without any doubt what he would have us do.

But often, it doesn’t work that way for you and me, and I am encouraged by a moment when it didn’t for Moses.

The setting is the shore of the Red Sea. Moses has led the Israelites out of Egypt. They are excited. But just as freedom seems possible, they look up and see the Egyptian army marching down on them. In what I’ve mentioned before is the Bible’s first known example of sarcasm, they yell at Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?” What punks, but Moses isn’t phased.

With wisdom that sounds like it was said by a man with a legit beard, he replies in Exodus 14, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.” He continues later, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Hooray, you think! Moses got it right finally. His early track record isn’t wicked awesome. He murdered someone. He fled home. He told the Lord he wasn’t qualified to be a leader, but here, here in this moment he instinctively relies on God! He gets it. God clearly wants them to wait and trust. Great plan.

But how does God respond to that in the very next verse? God says, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.”

I love that. Moses thought he had a plan. He thought he had a next step. He thought the wait button had been pressed and so he advised everyone to wait. And what did God say to that? “Run! Right now, run!”

That to me is a beautiful example of how crazy an adventure with God can feel.
You want answers and they just don’t seem clear sometimes.
You know in your heart of hearts that you’re supposed to move to Nashville and that God is in this adventure in big ways, but having your daughter change first grade a week before it starts isn’t easy. Your wife leaving the Community Bible Study she’s led for years isn’t easy. Changing a job you’ve had for years -and had it easy- isn’t easy. And you wish, you wish there was a roadmap that could tell you how it will all work out fine.

But as I’ve said before, we don’t get an itemized solution, we get a savior.

We don’t get a roadmap, we get a relationship.

We don’t get a mission statement, we get a Messiah.

And a relationship that is built daily. Relationships are built on time and closeness. And every time we come just seeking actionable answers, every time we come for the next ten steps, every time we come for adventure insurance from God, I think he simply thinks, “Come. Come be where I am. Stop making me press the wait or the run button, just come.” Because the truth is, in your life, and my life too, on every journey we go on,

God’s presence matters more than a plan.

Amen.

So. Step one, Sell Our House; on the way to being done.
Next up, find our new home and watch for God to put all these very last minute details together just in the nick of time. Amazingly.

Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement through the last six months.
You can be sure we'll still appreciate them for the next month or two while we try and finish this whole escapade up!

baked

Hottest day of the summer yesterday. Hottest day in the past three years, actually. 102°. Ick.
We stayed put indoors. Didn't even go to the pool, because as much as I love taking the kids, I don't love to be in the water the whole time, I'd rather take a break every once in awhile, lay out and get a little sun, and if it's a hundred degrees outside? I think you gotta be in the water. And I'm thinking even the water isn't even going to feel all that cool anymore with the high temperatures we've been having.

Anyway.
So we stayed put. We made beaded necklaces and we did dishes and we built forts and we unpacked from last week (yes, it's about time) and we didn't clean the playroom and we waited for the call that never came and we watched movies and we baked cookies.
In the car.

The kids have been asking on these super hot days if we can "turn the car into an oven again".
(you can read about our original experimentation from last year here.)
What better time to do it than the hottest day of the year?
Well, I got the recipe right this time and they turned out perfectly:

over three hours baking in the driveway...





















ta-da...





















car cookies!...















a taste test...














and the verdict is...














just kidding!...



























anyone else taking advantage of the oven that is our neighborhoods this summer??

not a no but not a yes

So the family that looked at our house on Sunday let us know that they were deciding between our house and another. They were planning on making the decision and writing up an offer by Monday.

Needless to say, we were on pins and needles all day waiting for a phone call. It was a loooong day.

The other agent had assured us he'd let us know as soon as a decision was made either way.
But we went to bed last night still not knowing. And not knowing if that was good or bad.
Turns out the husband was called out of town for work yesterday and will be gone thru Friday.
Ugh.

So now they say they'll be making an offer this weekend. Still no hint of a decision though.
Double ugh.

Don't they know we're dying here???

then and now

I've always been fascinated by old photographs and I love the idea of rephotography...
(example)















Ryan's grandpa had a beachhouse in Rockaway and on the wall he had several prints of old 1920's photographs of Rockaway's main street. I couldn't get enough of them. The cars, the people, trying to imagine their little world in 1921. Seeing how the main street had started out, how it'd changed, how much was the same. There is something about walking down that same street (now part of a scenic interstate highway!) an some of those same buildings today with those pictures in mind.

Some of my very favorite books to pour over are the Then and Now books of so many of our country's cities; several of which Ryan and I have collected. I love seeing how things used to be and trying to relate to them now, being able to see and occupy the same space but feeling the vast chasm of time passed. Of our world ever changing. Something about it is so beautiful to me.

I stumbled across a collection from photographer Sergey Larenkov, who uses rephotography to overlay still existing WWII-era photographs on their corresponding modern settings. I Love It.
His images are stunning and stirring.
Here is some of his work.
Scroll through them all when you have time... some of them are just incredible.

cutest thing ever

Also someone who has a lot of time on their hands...



































Go enjoy
Mila's Daydreams

You're welcome for pointing you to that smile. :)

seriously?

We all know it's a fact that things (read: house showings) happen at only the most inopportune times. At least in my world this is true. This is being proved to me more each and every day.

We've been out of town two out of the last three weeks.
First weekend, -after not having anyone look at our home for almost three weeks- we had houseguests here for four days putting five extra people in our house and just my luck, we get called for three separate showings. The last one being as we were trying to recoop house from said houseguests, do laundry and not only pack up to get out of town that afternoon, but of course have the house show ready while we're gone. Of course having a time limit on that made it even more fun!

Then, while we're gone all week?... While we're all out of the house and it's perfectly spic and span just waiting for potential buyers to come thru?.... nada.

Next we see no showings for almost two weeks.
And last weekend as we're cleaning up and packing up to leave town again? Gee whad'ya know guess who has to scramble to have that cleaned up/leave town time bumped up again for a showing??

And while we're again gone all week, house is spotless and empty and ready and waiting... no lookers at. all.

We're home this weekend and had another family coming thru town and were happy to have them crash here for the night to break up the road trip with thier four kids Friday night. Just as we're finishing up a nice big lazy breakfast with our friends and the kids are all running around making messes enjoying each other, guess who calls bright and early Saturday morning with a client who wants to see the house?? Of course they do.

We let our house listing expire yesterday with the end of the month.
We are most likely signing with a new agent tonight to get a fresh start and new energy breathed into this situation. So for about the next 36 hours or so our house is technically not listed at all.
I was doing dishes after lunch today and sighed to myself feeling relaxed thinking,
Wow, this is the first day in over five months that I don't have to worry about getting that call... I don't have to wonder if at any moment I'll have to rush around making sure everything is just right and round up the kids out of the house... wow, this is so nice!

And I am not kidding you, I just made that realization and smiled to myself about it and not 10 minutes later the phone rings.
The people who looked at our house yesterday are highly interested and wanted to come thru it again this afternoon. Even though the listing expired and the call to the listing office didn't go through, they tracked down our realtor and really want to come back today.
Now, this information makes me extremely happy... that is great news and nothing but encouraging, but seriously? Seriously?? Are you kidding me with the timing all the time?????

Needless to say, I would love for this to be a great chuckle to look back on reflecting over the time that we finally sold our house! So, fingers crossed that I don't have to share anymore of these ironic the-universe-is-against-me-timing-stories after today.... :)