can you say pms?

No real Thoughts for Thursday today.
Instead here's a random list of things that have made me cry tear up in the past week:

:: My hair. I officially hate it. I think I'm going to chop it again this summer. And why does it cost such a ridiculous amount to get a nice professional cut and color? I wish that was something I could prioritize for myself. I mean like more than once (or twice, if it's a good year) a year. Something I could make a priority and not feel guilty about.

:: Reading Savannah's "diary". Shhh... don't tell her! Really, it's okay... she doesn't really get that a diary is supposed to be private yet. She just loves writing. And I love reading it. I know I'm going to have to wean myself of it soon. It's just so unreal to be reading her "stories". Everything from jibberish about the cats, to her favorite things, to lists, to her five year old feelings. And the fact that I "locked" her in her room when she was in trouble the other day.
Just that she's writing these things... that my baby girl actually forms sentences and writes them... legibly enough that I can read what she's trying to say. Amazing.

:: Listening to Sawyer sing God is so Good before bed with me each night. He loves that song and giggles his way through it, asking to sing it over and over again before bed. God... Good! God... Good! God... good, gooood toooo meeee!

:: Savannah's recital. Nope, not just when my little girl tumbled her heart out, not missing a beat with a beautiful smile on her face in front of hundreds of people. I also teared up during the performance of strangers... the class of three girls with special needs. I teared up both during their performance and during their standing ovation afterwards. They did awesome.

:: This song. I have teared up each of the four times I've heard this song on the radio this week... it totally reminds me for some reason of the Audrey Caroline story. Which in and of itself can bring me to tears even just thinking about. (If you haven't heard of this amazing story of faith involving a family from the group Selah... go read Angie's blog. She is an incredible woman of God who shares the incredible journey her family has been on with the birth and death of their youngest daughter, Audrey. Bring a box of kleenex if you go there.) Anyway, this song for some reason reminds me of that story... the song just hits me with the reality of the world and the things that our kids may face and go through and how I so want to be those safe arms for them. But more so, I absolutely love picturing our Heavenly Father singing this... that even if we can't always hold and protect our children, that they're forever safe in His arms... and that we as His grown children are safe as well... storms crash around us, dreams may not come true, but just as we long to protect and comfort our children, so the Lord desires that for us in Him. Love that song.

:: Savannah's high dive. Okay, so she didn't dive, but she jumped off of the diving board at swimming lessons last night. And how absurd does it sound that I totally and completely had to wipe tears out of my eyes afterward! I was just so dang proud of her. If you know Savannah, you might get what I'm saying... this girl is (sorry Savannah, but I gotta say it) kind of a baby. She's not one to step out of her comfort zone when it comes to physical activities. It has taken her almost these two whole weeks to warm up to her swimming lessons in the first place. Oh she talks big; and she does love to go, it's just once she's there she's horribly timid and afraid to try new things. One of these new things was the diving board. This second week at the end of class, everyone gets to jump off the diving board if they want to. They have a couple of the instructors out in the water to catch them and help them back to the side and the kids are absolutely thrilled to be so grown up and going off the board. Except for Savannah. Heck, she takes a lot of coaxing to even just jump in from the side in the three foot end. And at playgrounds and such, she's pretty fearful of heights. She crawls on the big high climbers instead of walking or running around; standing up that high up makes her nervous. She's always been like that. So I thought there was no way on earth she'd ever go off the diving board. She was content to just practice her jumping in from the wall, thankyouverymuch.
And then all of a sudden last night, we looked over and she was in line for the diving board. I really didn't think she'd go through with it. But pretty soon she was next. And then she walked right out there (her teacher walked out to the end of the board with her). And she jumped. Well, technically you could say she was dropped (she needed a little lot of prompting to actually take the plunge), but she did it! And when she climbed out of the pool she went right back and got in line to do it again!! I was amazed! And teary eyed. So proud of you Savannah!!
I'm taking my camera tonight!