Thursday, February 24, 2011

i'm here. with flowers.

I don't really have much to say, but I feel like it's a blogging kind of morning. It's gray and stormy outside, Savannah's off at school, Sawyer's watching cartoons, both the dishwasher and washing machine are running in the background and I'm sitting here with my Netbook, and I keep feeling like I should be blogging. But I really don't have anything to say.

Except that I miss writing here.
My writing has been slowly waning (even moreso than usual) over the last six months.
And my emotional health has been waning as well. Coincidence??

This is the third interstate move we've made in the past five years. I pretty much lived and breathed journalling my way through the first two... and all was well.
This time around... not so much.
I've really been struggling lately.
And this journal was such a big part of my life previously, I can't help but question;
Am I not writing because I'm struggling more, or am I struggling more because I'm not writing??
Writing has always been so therapeutic to me. Journals, poetry and songs have been my lifeline throughout everything.
And now lately... nothing.

Honestly I am not happy right now.
I mean, I'm happy -in the big picture, I know I'm foundationally, overwhelmingly happy with this life I've been blessed with- I'm just not feeling happy at the moment. Or for the last few months of moments.
I'm really hoping this bit of depression thaws out with the season. I'm ready for spring.

I bought myself some flowers yesterday.
Last year, when we had our house on the market for so long, with our relatively constant flow of showings, I routinely kept vases of fresh flowers in our family room as well as in the master bedroom. Costco's floral department loved me. (and oh how i miss our giant lilac bush!!)
Aside from being an attractive selling tactic, I was always amazed at how flowers really brightened up the place. Especially amidst a trying year of being stressed and crazy... there was just something about having a simple bunch of fresh flowers that could ground me; they could let me pause and smile. Flowers are such a small, uplifting detail that I discovered makes a big difference for me.
I realized this week, that after living with flowers in my home for more than 8 months straight last year, I haven't yet once had fresh flowers in this house. Almost 6 months.
It's about time.

I was reminded of a study I once read about that showed the impact of living with flowers had... that fresh flowers in a home increased kindness and compassion, they were calming, and even seemed to ward away many moments of worry and sadness. It also said that people who live with flowers in their home have lowered hypertention, less anxiety and less negativity with boosted energy levels and productivity.
(I know I tend to keep my kitchen cleaner when there's a pretty vase of flowers sitting in the middle of it!)
It was also suggested that homes with flowers have fewer fights and fewer bouts of sickness and depression.
That's enough for me.

I think flowers may be back on the weekly routine for me.
When is the last time you bought yourself -or better yet, were given- flowers to brighten up not only your spirit but your home's as well??


Mom said...

Well we finally got our snow day,TODAY!!Pretty sure we broke a record for lastest snow fall. But I have been SO ready for spring.My mini tulips are blooming along with some of the other early bloomers ,so I hope they survive.Hopefully you will be outside planting some flowers soon, so your yard can put a smile on your face too. I think I received some flowers back in Sept,while my mom was here.And I got some hardy little primroses to plant on Valentines Day.But today, put some good music on and enjoy the day. You are loved!!!XOXOXOXXO

Anonymous said...

i went through a phase like that a few months ago. it always seems to last forever when you're in one, and like it will never get better. but it will soon, i hope. i'm glad you bought yourself flowers! i think i need some, too. :)

and i miss blogging and reading your blog too!

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