TFT hiatus

I've been thinking about things this week and I've decided I'm taking a break from the Thoughts for Thursday thing. Possibly from commenting, definitely from posting.
I've discovered that among the last few posts I've done, I have left some people with impressions that I'm not comfortable with. Whether they've thought things I've said have been intentionally directed at them or whether they just feel I'm sounding harsh and judgemental in my posts, I have never meant things that way and I hate that readers would take that from my writing or be insulted.

Nicole and I started doing Thoughts for Thursday as a way to organize some thoughts on a topic of interest each week and get a little blog conversation going about it. Different opinions and different points of view and a way to get to know all of each other a little better. Here's where I originally introduced the idea and what we were thinking to better explain.

I love that this TFT thing has really caught on. I'm coming across blogs of people I don't know and some that I don't even know how they link back to my or Nic's blog posting great things on Thursdays, posing questions, needing advice, giving perspectives, and it's so fun! All the different women in the comments with their own two cents and things to add or challenge and conversations started from these topics is great.

There have been just a couple of times that I'm aware of where comments have gotten "heated". One time so much so that Nic and I laughed about having to post reminders about playing nice, everyone's entitled to their opinion kind of thing and we are not here to attack each other.

I've never had any real "arguments" in my comment section or been challenged in my opinions. However, it has come to my attention that outside of the comment section, things I write about have been discussed and feelings have been hurt and someone or other may be left thinking in the way I wrote things that I am referring directly to them or that I think I'm better than them or would look down on them or judge them in some way.

Please let me take a minute to clarify...
In talking about kids' bedtimes, I am not judging the way you do things, I am talking about my personal experiences and opinions.
In talking about accents and differences in new areas, I'm not trying to imply my way is the right way; I am making fun of myself and the differences in demographics.
In talking about what goes on in your family, whether you wear your wedding ring, what you name your kids, whether you have a blog or not, whether or not you read for leisure, how you balance your being a mom and being yourself, whether or not you got and give an allowance, whether or not you use a four letter word here and there, how you manage your time...
in all these things I am not trying to judge, I am not meaning to come across condescendingly, I am not trying to point fingers or saying that I think any more or less of you one way or another. I am simply starting a discussion. My perspective is not the only perspective.

And to know that I've made anyone feel that way, to know that someone might think "man, I hope Heather never knows such and such about me or she'll think such and such"... that makes me really... sad.
I have never proclaimed to be a writer. I know I am not the most eloquent or graceful or even any good at getting my point across all the time. But if I am coming across "harshly" or judgemental then I need to just stop.

I paused for just a minute to think on whether people who would think I was being accusatory or judgemental were just put off because maybe they're feeling guilty about something I've said in some way, or if it was really the way I was writing that was coming off that way; that I was honetly saying that anyone I came across who didn't do things "my way" is below me.
I don't know. But in the end, it doesn't matter. Because regardless of who is reading it or the way they feel about what I've said in regards to them, I don't want to be judgemental. I don't want my writing to come across as people reading my thoughts being left saying "ouch". It's just not sitting well with me that that might be going on and be my fault.

My thoughts are my thoughts. And sometimes I just blurt them out.
I'm not sitting here thinking that I'm honestly better than so-and-so, or that other people are immature or ignorant or doing things the wrong way just because they're different than me. I'm just giving my point of view. And with that, I don't like people feeling uncomfortable or as if I'm trying to convict someone.
I'm sorry if I've ever come across that way. I'm sorry if you have read my musings and been offended or insulted. I would never mean to be judgemental or harsh.

Things can be especially misunderstood in the written word and apparently it's easy for my writing to come across differently than I mean it. So since it's seems I don't know how to write, I'm turning off the keyboard, so to speak, for a while concerning things like this. I've decided I'll be keeping my thoughts to myself for a while on Thursdays... and most days I think.

And so you can read better thoughts to think today, here are the other TFT posts this week:
Nicole
Jessica
Heather S.
Kristi S.
Mary
jenny
Denise H.
Ashley
Jenny
Michelle