oh yeah, it's thursday

almost forgot. (I already posted today, so if you want to skip over what is sure to be mindless rambling here, there are pictures to be found there)

I'm not really prepared with a thoughts for thursday topic... hmmm....

How about BLOGGING?
I took this little quiz awhile back.
68%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Just 68%, eh? Actually kind of surprises me. I would have guessed a higher score than that because if you ask my husband I am addicted to both my blog and to reading blogs. Makes me wonder about those who rank a lot higher... they really are addicted!!

I am suprised by how much I've enjoyed blogging this past year. I've always liked to write and journals have always been a big part of my life, but in the past, my writing as always solely been for me. I'm surprised I enjoy having "public" journal so much. Even though this blog did start as more of just a convenience to keep long distance friends and family in tune with our kids and our life, it has pretty much turned into a real journal for me. Whether I'm venting about life in general, recording milestones, or taking a step back to watch my kids grow up. Whatever my life is, I'm learning that I'm happy with it and I'm proud of it and being comfortable sharing my "journal" here as a public blog sometimes surprises me. My writing here is now first and foremost for me, but usually at least somewhere in my mind I give a bit of thought to who is actually reading what I'm writing. The fact that my family, people we are close to, random strangers and potential friends... the fact that at any given time any one of those may be reading. But my Aunt Jessica made a few references the other day about reading our blog, and it started me thinking. It made me realize that if there's anything I feel is odd about blogging, it's this... it's people I know reading what I write, when I don't know that they're regular readers. The strangers? They don't bother me. I don't know they're there, and may never know them. That's not who I'm talking about. I'm referring to people I know; people who are or have been or will be close to me or my family in real life. People who I may not talk with on a regular basis (or far from it), but I know in my life... it always catches me off guard when I find out they've been silently keeping tabs on us all along.
And I don't know how to explain it, but I almost feel cheated by that... like it's unfair. Lopsided I guess is a better word for it. Because, as Jessica said the other night when she shared that she loves our blog and tries to keep up on it as much as possible; it makes her feel like she really knows me. Our family is (or I guess I should not be so assuming with the whole family, and just leave it as- I alone am...) not the best at keeping in touch on a regular basis. Heck, I wasn't even positive of my own cousins exact ages without sitting down to count it out. I don't know much about what goes on in their world day to day. And until now, I thought they were oblivious to ours as well.
Until Jessica recently made a few comments (on Thursday thoughts, thankyouverymuch!) I had no idea she was still reading. And I was clueless that she kept up on it as well as she apparently does. Turns out they knew much of what's been going on in our boring lives; they knew what to expect coming into our house, and basically they know me and my family much better for reading my ramblings. And I love that about my blog. I love that people who we don't get to see or talk to very often, can still "share" in so much of what goes on with us. That's partly why I'm here.

But here's the thing. If my aunt and uncle had not visited this week, if they had not let me know in person that they had been reading our blog, I still would not know that they knew as much about us as they do. That they have silently been observing us through our blog. And of course not only would I not know that they "know" me better, but without their visit I would still be sitting here not really feeling like I know them very well. Which is lopsided.
And here's what I don't like about the blogging comes in. I feel like it's unbalanced because in cases like this... it's like I'm giving and not getting anything in return. Certain friends and family know me and my husband and my kids and our life better because I am a regular blogger... but I don't know them in the same way. I don't see pictures of their kids on a regular basis. I don't hear funny stories about their bad days. I don't read about their holidays or their vacations. I still don't know them any better, while they feel like they know me. And it's not fair. LOL! (that one was just for you Jess!)
I think this is all why I get so excited when friends start new blogs! It evens it out!

I hope you know I'm not seriously complaining... I don't expect everyone who reads this blog to write about themselves on a regular basis... nobody "owes" me anything just because they read what I write. I love having my blog simply for what it is. I love that friends and especially family can feel like they know us a little better or at least know a little about what's going on with us. What I might complain about (in a friendly half-joking complaining kind of way) are readers reading regularly like that and not ever commenting. Because even though you may not be a "blogger", you can at least let me know you're there and that you're "getting to know me" through my babbling day in and day out. The comment section is at the end of every post and while it's not something I would expect for every boring post (except for my mother), by you throwing a comment out there every once in a while, then I at least know that you're out there. And then I at least have an idea of who's getting to "know" me. And if I know you, and I talk to you, then I'm not sideswiped by the fact that you know I had a bad day last week or what color my kitchen is even though you've never stepped foot in my house (also, because when I do talk to you, I'll be sitting there babbling about things you already know!!)
Isn't it only fair that I get to know sometimes who's out there, why you're there, why you like to read my rambling, why you like to laugh along at my tired attempts to capture my kids on camera? I like to know if you empathize with me, if you disagree with me, if you're laughing along with me. I love love love my faithful commenters. People I feel like I "know" through blogging or I do know in the real world. (haha, that sounds funny, like the blog world is a whole pretend world!!) Having a little feedback, or a little conversation just makes my little "journal" that much more fun and that much more of a reflection of where I'm at and who's a part of our life, real world OR blogging world!

And for the record, I'm trying to be a lot better at commenting on other blogs as well. Well, I've been trying to do that for awhile, before I even sat down and thought about all of this. Because I know how sometimes an extra random comment can just make your day!

****
Wow! For starting a random post without a Thoughts for Thursday in mind, and then just starting with a silly quiz, I sure managed to squeeze out a novel!
Do I need to sum up what evidently ended up being the point of my post today?
COMMENT. Or start a blog. One or the other. HAHA, joking. Kind of.
But seriously, don't be intimidated by the little comment link down there. If you know me, or feel like you "know" me via blog land, then let me know you! It takes one minute to type a quick hi. Or a whole sentence if you want and then I will really feel loved. You don't have to have a blog, you don't even have to sign your name (although that takes the fun out of it).

By the way, if you do want to start your own blog, it's super easy (Jessica can attest to that) and it's FREE! It doesn't take up anymore time than you want it to. You don't have to write everyday, you don't have to be a great writer... you don't even have to be good. Just be yourself and I think you might find you have fun sharing that. Or just looking back on it yourself months or years down the road. Look at me, plugging Blogger. I should be paid for this!

Alright. The End. Now is when you click on the little word "comments" right below this rambling post.