Thursday, September 6, 2007


... it is Thursday, isn't it girls???
No one's thinking anymore out there?
Emilie is our lone Thoughts for Thursday girl this week?
ETA*** oh wait, Heather's in too!!***

I'll throw out my thoughts in a half-a$$ way.

I have lots of thoughts this Thursday. Being back home and spending weeks living with my two kids in my parents' house along with my two little sisters (one just moved back home and the other who lives in Las Vegas is visiting here this week as well) has for some reason this time got me a lot of remembering, reflecting and all around analyzing. Sometimes I wish I didn't have such a hyper-analytical mind...
Anyway, just doing a lot of thinking about family dynamics and things of that sort. My parents' parenting, my sisters' and my different personalities, all our relationships, and ultimately, my marriage and my parenting of my own kids. Lots to think about in this family...

So as I could go on for years about myself and my family, I will spare you and simply generalize my thoughts.
I'm so interested in the overall dynamics of different families... whether major dysfunction or wonderful relationships, either growing up or currently, and the different affects these things have on different family members. How for most of us now, we want certain things to be the same or different with our own family of a husband and/or kids. I think looking at the way we grow up and the way we interact with our families, even as adults; all of the patterns and personalities involved in a family... it's a mind boggling thing when you really stop and think about how much that impacts who we are.
I know for a lot of us that's opening a whole huge can of worms and a comment section is no place to dig into the depths of family dynamics. And at the same time, some of us have not much more to say than the fact that I have an amazing family who all love and support each other no matter what. But what are your thoughts on your family? The one you came from, I mean. Growing up and now... good? bad? ugly? a great example for you to strive for with your own new family now? an example of what not to do? Do you feel like that affects you today?

I know this is kind of a silly and random question, and one that's none too easily taken lightly. I won't be surprised to find zero comments left here for this one. Like I said before, this is all just stuff that's been on my mind this week being surrounded by family... way too much to even begin to write about. I guess this post may be more just to vaguely vent than to actually get a response.
But it is one of those topics where I find everyone's different stories and perceptions so interesting...

And speaking of interesting, I'll try to do some "normal blogging" around here tomorrow.


Jessica said...

Well, I am like you and find family dynamics very fascinating and ponder how that shapes who we are. I'm always fascinated that my sisters and I are so different, yet we were raised by the same woman (divorced parents) and we were very close in age (2 years). We fought endlessly and ruthlessly as kids. I remember many of them, but as adults we get along great. I know we get on each others' nerves sometimes, but we are able to look for the best in each other. My sisters are my best friends.

So far my kids don't fight like we did when we were young. Grace is only 11 and Ethan 8, so maybe that will change. They mostly get along, although they don't engage as much as sisters might. They don't really play together much anymore.

Nicole said...

Just wanted to let you know I've read this, and I plan to respond... but I need to "ponder" all the "dynamics" lol. I'll post later.

Kim said...

i honestly believe i had the perfect childhood... i'm really lucky. i talk to my mom every day and always look forward to seeing my parents. in fact i wish they lived closer than an hour away.

i have one sister and we are complete opposites - we even look completely different! it's crazy! we fought when we were little but for the most part have always hung out together - we even have the same group of friends.

Heather S. said...

I have 2 younger brothers and an older sister. I often wonder, too, how we could have been raised by the same parents because we are so different. However, when I really think about it, I see many similarities, too. For example, we are all very stubborn! My youngest brother and I are both very opinionated and find ourselves drawn to political or religious discussions. We get those traits from our dad. In school, we were all really good in math. The differences are what make our family fun.

When it comes to parenting, I often find myself saying things that sound just like my mom. I think I try to do some of the same things and some different. My mother-in-law always tells me that they didn't have all the parenting books that we have now. I read a lot to find better ways of handling a situation instead of just doing what my parents did.

Tracy said...

wow- family dynamics!! I could write a book. I'm number 7 out of 8. My parents were divorced after 33 years of marriage and this all definitely impacts the wife/mom/etc that I am today.(my parents HATE each other) I'm sure you will have a chance to meet my family many times living across the street from us. We get along overall but we are all so different. Jeff laughs that he can't believe I have the same parents as the rest. I know I will not travel w/ my mom and 2 sisters because it becomes a big fight(it has become the big family joke).
I love them all but I'm not much into the criticizing and putting others down. My sisters are great but thrive on this. I did love growing up with a big family and we always had something going on at the house. Now as adults we have a little of everything going on with our family. Overall we are there for each other but of course drive each other nuts. I do know on my birthday that I'm definitely loved with getting a phone call from each sibling. They all fight to see who can call first- It's not unheard of to get a 4:30 am call to have claiming rights to be the first one. My family dynamics would take a pitcher of margaritas to really get to the whole root of them :(
Have fun on the trip. Sophie is missing Savannah already.

Amber-Rose said...

Wow, I'll comment on this one. This is a topic that forever fascinates me, too.

I'm the oldest of 3 and the only girl. When we were about 21, 18 and 14, respectively, our nice Christian parents went through a not-so-amicable divorce. For a period of time, my brothers actually lived with me, Adam and Samuel. It's funny how in the same family, experiences can be so vast. My "growing up" years were much different than, say, my youngest brother's.

I LOVE that my brothers and I are close, even though we could go weeks without a phone call. I wonder if that would be the same had I been given sisters! Sure, we did our fair share of fighting and teasing when we were younger, but I knew (and know) that they would always come through for me if I needed it, and vice versa. That's something I love about sibling relationships, and I find myself repeating to my kids (esp. Samuel, the oldest) that friends will come and go, but your brothers are there for life.

Love the Thoughts on Thursday!

Kristi Sauer said...

My partner and I both come from families whose parents are still married after 30+ years, however we were raised VERY differently, very different values. It has been a constant struggle in our relationship. I love my family and feel really lucky to have them, whereas he can't stand to be around his family and they definitely do not appreciate each other. There is a lot of resentment. He doesn't understand what it feels like to actually want to spend time with your family and it really hurts us :(
Probably one big reason why we are still not married after being together for almost 9 years.

Lina said...

I know it is Sunday, but I am catching up on the TFT posts. 1st let me say YEAH DUCKS!!
Now, family dynamics has played a huge role in the way I am with my children in a good way & bad way. I find alot of the things I often resented in my childhood now are resembled in me. Very unfortunate & I just try to turn that off so the pattern I dislike can end here with me & not with my children & their grandchildren, etc. Losing my patience easily, showing my temper in front of my children, all of the uglies that we are 'supposed' to shelter our children from @ home.
Also, I have a brother I am close with & two 1/2 sisters I do not claim nor wish to even be in the same state with. We were all raised the same way & all turned out WAY different.
ok, can you say rambling therapy? Just send me the bill-ha!

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