here

Well, it's been awhile.
Only two blog posts in the past two weeks! One may be inclined to ask what in the world is wrong with me?!

A friend asked me the other day if I had let blogging here regularly go by the wayside, like so many other bloggers lately, because of the preoccupation with Facebook and Twitter.
That would be a big fat NO.
I have never Twittered in my life, and I rarely post or communicate on Facebook. Like I said before, Facebook is simply a connecting point for me to get back in touch with people I've lost track of over the years. Sure I peek in from time to time to see updates on others (since it seems that's where everyone spends so much time these days), but mostly for me it's just led to blogs and emails and more personal communication with friends and family I otherwise would not know how to contact.

Yes, it seems a lot of those who were regular bloggers before have lightened either their content or their frequency or blog reading in leu of spending more time with those other online social avenues. That would not be me. I frankly do not need more online things to take up my time. I refuse to get sucked in. ;)
I love my good old blog. This will be here forever. My conversations or statuses (stati??) over there will not be. This is my log, my journal, my day to day life. This is something I can look back on, use for more tangible documenting like scrapbooks or photo albums (someday), and that my kids can look back on. The fun things we do, the bad days we have, the advice I look for, the seemingly boring details of me. I was looking through the past almost three years I've been blogging and I can't believe sometimes how reading a simple story of my toddlers' antics can bring back so many memories, smiles and details of that day. I love that. That's all I need.

I read a great reflection the other day referring to a lot of this kind of thinking... how much is too much... the "noise" of our lives these days and the contribution of all that's online. And remembering the real reasons (for me) for blogging. It all really resonated with me. As she said, "re-evaluating what my place should (and shouldn't) be in this curious on-line world."
Here are a few snippets from her post that stood out to me:
After somewhat of a blogging haitus- "balancing one's need to offer an explanation without presuming that anybody really requires one. Not to mention, one of the most convicting realizations I've come to is that blogging may just fuel in us (and by "us", of course, I mean "me") a need to articulate everything. I wonder sometimes if our culture is veering away from the very fine art of simply keeping some things to ourselves. Sometimes the best words are the ones we don't say."
Other parts of why we blog- "the part that craves to "measure" ourselves, the part that is naturally drawn to a false sense of urgency, the part that needs to be heard even when there's not really anything to say."

I feel like that's me. When I've been on Facebook and almost typed out a status or commented on someone else's... that's the line I keep coming back to. Why do I need to be heard even when there's not really anything to say? And isn't it the same for blogging? Yes, the reasons I blog are partly for a personal journal of our life. But why blog? Why put it out there? I can argue that it's simpler to put it out there as an all-in-one updates for our long distance friends and family... there's no way I could find time to journal and document like I want to, and also keep in touch with everyone that I want to individually. But the truth is, as a stay-at-home-mom who's moved across the country a few times in the past few years, for me it's more than that; It's another community. I've met some great girls and made some fun friendships I would have otherwise missed out on. There are plenty of good things about that.
But sometimes, for lots of people, that fine line between fun and recreation and making a few connections gets fuzzily blurred into being plugged in all the time and, as Shannon stated, "But I also think that I've probably let myself go a little off-course, when I reflect back to why I started doing this in the first place. I look back and wonder if I've contributed to the "noise level" that seems to be wearing out me and so many of the women I know."
"I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that we (I) seem to be operating in a fog of sensory overload. We blog and Twitter and Facebook. We have cell phones and multiple e-mail addresses. We're so plugged in we're almost motorized, and it's exhausting."

It's crazy, because even though I don't Twitter and I'm hardly on Facebook, I so feel that. I feel like almost the longer I have resisted that "everybody's doing it" pull of those engaging online communities, the more I can step back and see how casually plugged in all the time it would make me. And how exhausting that would be. Even if it doesn't "feel" exhausting. I don't want to be spread thin(ner). I've determined that I want to keep my energy and my limited online time focused on my memories here. Well, here and on my other four blogs. :)
I'll stick to reading and commenting on the other blogs and friends I've grown to love. If I'm going to be spending time online, I don't need to be spending it in -or listening in on- five dozen conversations in "real time". I'd rather have some "real" conversations here. Even when they're only with myself.

And please hear me when I say that I'm not trying to knock Twitter or Facebook. Really, I'm not. I think they can be great fun and also be a great way to form many new relationships. I just personally don't have the time management abilities to be involved. And the more I've realized that, the more I'm thankful for that. My kids and my husband are thankful for that.

Whew! What a tangent I went off on today! All I really wanted to say was that I'm here, I'm back, I've been busy, but I'm not giving up on the good old blog. I'm refocusing on what I want here, what this space is for me, the writing I want to be doing.

And some of that writing involves some definite catching up around here.
Odds and Ends of the past two (three?) weeks (and probably upcoming blog posts):

• my parents being here with us for two weeks and lots of fun keeping busy in all of that
• the gorgeous SUMMER weather we've had (90 degrees the past four days!)
• soccer, soccer and more soccer
• our weekend away
• my boy and our trip to the ER, which was a nice kick-off for his knock him flat fever the past four days
• new landscaping
• sunburn
• more bead parties
• Ryan's work migration to a shorter commute
  
• pickle smells

For now, it's a nice cool drizzly morning, we're headed to the pediatrician in a few minutes, and I'm spending the day scratching the itch to get my house in order and back to a normal routine after houseguests for so long. I'm hoping soccer is cancelled tonight. This is one of those Mondays where I need a weekend after the weekend.