Thursday, January 24, 2008


Sometimes I think the universe likes to toy with me.
I spent the entire day yesterday cleaning; super cleaning-- cleaned the microwave, wiped down all appliances and every surface of the kitchen, cleaned out our junk basket in the kitchen, detail cleaned our humidifiers, cleaned and reorganized the laundry room, cleaned all our front windows, mopped the floors, did four loads of laundry and did the normal, but was extra meticulous, picking up/cleaning up/vacuuming/dusting of the whole house, and had a great dinner on the table. I was pretty proud of myself. I even kept the kids happy and entertained through all of that... we all had a really good day!

Then Ryan calls to say he'd like to go out to a coworker's farewell happy hour after work.

Figures. Any day that I'm lazy or it's been crazy or I just don't care, and my house is completely trashed... it seems those are the days that Ryan comes home early. He shows up earlier in the afternoon, many times without calling, and I feel embarrassed that the kids might still be in their pj's, there are dishes piled in the sink, toys strewn everywhere and I'm sure he's thinking what have you been doing all day?? And then. The days I make the extra effort to have the house especially super clean and tidy; everything not only put away, but organized, the equivalent of having it 'show worthy' in the real estate world... and though this doesn't happen all that often, it absolutely never fails Ryan then calls to say he'll be late. So by the time he gets home I've had enough with the kids, dinner's cold, everyone's grumpy and ready for bed and the house is trashed again.
So I've decided. I'll keep with my every day chores, I'll keep the house "nice", but I'm done with the won't Ryan be so happy and surprised to come home to such a perfectly sparkling clean and presentable house with candles burning and dinner ready and we'll have such a nice relaxing evening in our nice non chaotic house... because it doesn't happen.
I can either have the husband home or the house perfect. Never both.


jessica said...

Oh, Heather, I feel a sermon coming must be lucky that Gertie is on my lap and doesn't like me on the computer.

I just want you to know that we (homemaking-housewives) all have these frustrating times. We work hard and we don't get the performance reviews or the boss that says, "Good job today."

I once knew a lady that was talking about walking through the grocery store and choosing special treats for each of her kids, only for them to not even notice or thank her. She was then getting to the point where she was shopping, reaching for those treats and grumbling to herself that her kids would never notice. She didn't know why she even bothered. Then the moment...

She realized she needed to do it for God, to please Him, because it pleases Him that she's trying to please her family.

So I'm not saying I can't relate. (Although I can't even remember the last time I cleaned so thoroughly. It makes me happy just to imagine your sparkling home.) But I am saying you should push you hopes even higher than that great husband who sometimes lets you down, to a Father that will never let you down. He is always pleased at your good efforts.

And what did you make for dinner?

heather said...

Thank You Jessica. You always have the right words.

I should say that it's not so much (this time) that I don't feel appreciated or that what I do goes unnoticed... if Ryan were to call and tell me about Happy Hour and I said that I spent all day cleaning up and was really looking forward to him being home in all the nice planned non-chaoticness, he would probably be home in a heartbeat. He did say the house looked nice last night. Even though the clean "peak" had passed.:)

But you're right, and I was thinking about this last night... that I need to be doing it for me and for our family as a whole, to make our home healthy and calm... not just because I think Ryan likes things in order when he comes home. I need to remember when I have the urge to do it (the super cleaning) that effort is not wasted like you said, because it is the thought that counts in God's eyes and it doesn't matter who else sees it.

And we had Spaghetti and a Spanish Green Bean dish and rolls. :)

Nicole said...

Here's my idea... take some pictures of it HAHAHAH! Then you can show him and have proof that you actually worked your tush off LOL. I am always lazy in the afternoons. P's nap time is like my "chill" time, so the house is usually trashed from us tryign to get out of the house in the morning, and from us getting home with whatever we brought home with us from work/sitter/errands.... poor Ryan usually comes home to a pit.

jessica said...

I like the idea of guarding nap time to relax a little. Gertie went down about an hour ago and I've been cleaning bathrooms and organizing and picking up the messes of the morning. I would rather be reading or napping or blogging.

Oh, and Heather, maybe I missed the boat. Maybe it's more about ships passing in the night. You want to have a together night, which you've been looking forward to and preparing for, and he wants to have a night out. Is that it?

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