Friday, January 27, 2012

week end

I've not had the best week. 
Just Off.  In a funk.  Bleh.

I'm feeling restless and unfocused.  Unsettled with projects around here, unfinished housekeeping tasks all over, and just am not motivated and dragging my feet on all of it.
I've been rehashing situations from the past in trying to help out a friend going through the same and it's making me downhearted, wistful and feeling lonely.
We're stalled out in the Foster Care avenue (turns out this county is NOT the most efficient when it comes to home studies/licensing) and I'm short on patience with my own kids.  Short on patience with the puppy too.
I feel like I was busy doing (or trying to do) a lot for other people and not so much for me.  Which normally is great... normally being generous and there for others is good for me, energizes me.  But this week I just feel drained.

Maybe it's this no carbs/no sugar thing.  I did a lot of baking/cooking for other people this week and had none of the really good stuff myself.  That could make one grumpy I think.
Or maybe it's the weather.  It's been so rainy and blah here.  I think maybe some snow would cheer me up.  Or some springtime. :)

At least it's Friday.
I'm looking forward to the weekend.
(I've already decided I'm ditching the diet for the weekend, btw, so that's cheery already!)
It's been a long week and I feel like I haven't seen my husband much, or my kids, when really I have- I just haven't really been there.  Or I've found myself more annoyed with their presence than enjoying it this week.

So I'm looking forward:
Ryan and I have a date Saturday and I'm really anxious for some one-on-one time to get out and just be with him.
On Sunday he's going to be off hanging with a friend all day, so it'll be just me and the kids.  My first instinct is to groan with that... it's just the mood I'm in and to think about having to keep them from killing each other entertain them all day instead of whatever it is I'd rather do... when it comes to weekends, I normally borderline-dread any "extra" days I have the parent job all to myself.
But this time I'm trying to look forward to it.  I want to really hang out with them, to enjoy each other and have some fun mommy-kid time.  I want to choose to get out of this attitude and look forward to spending the whole day with my kids.  They're good kids.
They are worth what I am doing here, they are worth watching, worth listening to, worth my attention, worth describing and remembering and liking.
(Loving, always, that goes without saying; liking is sometimes harder).

Speaking of- here are a couple of things SJ's left up around the house this week that are driving home that worth listening to, worth liking, worth remembering stuff...  the stuff that makes me smile. :)

on the chalkboard wall:

and found posted on the stairway up to her room:


Heather S. said...

So sorry that it has been a rough week for you!!! I hope next week is better!!
And for the record - even though you didn't ask for my opinion - no carb diets really aren't the best idea!! Everything I learned in my class and have read since points to that fact. Yes, refined sugar is bad, but carbs are where you get your energy!! Most people who do no carb diets do feel drained and moody because your main source of energy is gone. You are depriving yourself of something you need!!! And, studies show that most people who try to go no carb end up falling off the wagon because they couldn't take it any longer. Less carbs are usually the better option than no carbs!!
I hope I am not irritating you!! Just don't want you totally depriving yourself of something your body needs!!

heather said...

Not irritating Heather, I know this is your world right now so of course you want to share!

The thing is, this no carb thing is totally short term and high protein to make up for it, so it's not like I'm just trying to live on salads. I did this same plan last spring, dropped about 8 pounds easily and felt great. I didn't feel drained or moody, but actually felt really good- better without all that crap. Not that we eat horribly anyway, but I'm the type of personality who needs to make a clean break... I have to cut it all off, get out of the bad habits and then I can ease my way back in. If I just try to "cut back" on the carbs and sugar, I fail every time. I have to basically go cold turkey for a while and get my body (and mind) out of those cravings and then I'm fine and can moderate easily. Which is what I did last year; a few days of pure protein; low fat dairy and meats, no sugar, no carbs (I love the high protein because I'm not hungry and sluggish) and then slowly reintroduce vegetables and then fruits and then finally healthy carbs in moderation. It worked wonderfully last time. Now I'm trying to jump start dropping these last 15lbs and I'm just thinking the dreary end of winter season just might not be the time for me to do that! I'm doing everything else the same... lots of exercise (walking the dog twice a day most days and several miles a couple of times a week with a friend) and LOTS of water. I'm struggling a lot more with the diet part of it this time though.

I'm sure part of this funk IS the "diet", but really I think it's mostly the weather and the monotony of life lately. And being broke. I'm just no fun right now. ;)

Thinking I need a vacation. Girls weekend anyone?!? :)

Mom said...

Hope your date is especially nice and that your Sunday with the kids is just what you guys need. LOVE,LOVE,LOVE those signs of Savannahs.Thanks for posting them.Miss you....XOXOXOX

Nicole said...

love love love the signs by Savannah! PRECIOUS!!

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